Triangle in meditation

When I closed my eyes for meditation for the first time, I saw only darkness- a vast ocean. I continued my practice for a few months; a tiny dot started appearing in between that darkness. The size, colour and stability of that dot changed for the next few months. Then, it became brighter, wider and steady, with a distinct recognisable colour. It was just an elemental light representing a particular element out of five elements Prithvi – Earth, Agni –Fire, Vayu –Wind, Akasa –Sky, Apas/ Jal –Water. The appearance of light confirmed my progress in concentration but for further advancement, the dazzling dot had to be ignored.

I continued my practice for years and years and one day I saw a triangle in meditation. SwamiSivananda says, “One whose food is moderate, whose anger has been controlled, who has given up all love for society, who has subdued his passions, who has overcome all pairs (heat and cold etc.) who has given up his egoism, who does not bless anyone nor take anything from others – such a man during meditation obtains it (the triangle) in the face.”

 Actually, this happens in the lockdown. Due to COVID 19 spread, I was confined to my home. I had no other option then to meditate. With restaurant and hotel closed, I was left with no other option then to eat healthy and nutritive home cooked food. I hardly get any business calls in a day so my anger was in check. It was useless to get angry at a virus because it was of no use to shout at someone who could not hear you. There was no reason to lose temper therefore, I could maintain my calmness and silence with ease. I could not meet relatives and friends to shower my love on them as I was confined to my home and I did not have much liking for chatting on mobile so I was in a sort of solitude. There were not pairs like friends and enemies but only one thing to protect everyone from that deadly virus. ‘Vasudev Kutumbkam’ was my dominant thought at that time as virus could affect anybody and everybody. I was praying for the society under Om Swamiji’s guidance. His words helped me to shed ‘I’ and to think about ‘US’. Beside all this, I was attending many online Sivananda Yoga classes – Open Class, Kids Yoga, Advance Yoga, 108 Surya Namaskar Class, Backward Bending, Forward Bending, Chakra Opener, Mandala Meditation. I even attended Yoga for Seniors because it was free.   

 In such a difficult situation, Nature forced me rather blessed me with a vision of triangle in meditation!

My little effort to improve my command on English

 Once in my early twenties, I decided to improve my English by reading a book. I brought ‘The Discovery of India’ from library and started reading it with Oxford Dictionary beside me to check the meaning of difficult words. I had hardly read one paragraph then my brother peeked into my room. He was shocked to see me reading a book. He said, “Didi, in holidays are you reading a book?”

I replied, “Yes. To improve my command on English.”

“Which book?”

“The Discovery of India”

“रहने दो दीदी, नेहरू कब्र में से उठ कर आ जायेगा।" (Nehru will come out of his grave in surprise!)

MA Kali laughed!

“Which fruit do you like to eat?” I said to a dark colour girl in shabby clothes with dishevelled hair.

Her face was stern. May be she did not understand my accent!

I requested the shop vendor to ask her.

“Which fruit do you want to eat? Apple, Orange or Banana?” He asked in a loud voice and the words she could get.

She smiled. She smiled more. She giggled. She giggled more.

“Tell quickly! What do you like?”

She laughed uncontrollably.

“Speak up!” He raised his voice a bit.

In between her laughs, she said with great difficulty. “Apple.”

I picked up some fresh apples from the crate and handed over them to the shopkeeper for weighing.

“1 Kg for Rs. 90/-.” He told.

After completing my Nav Durga Sadhana, I had to donate the set aside money (Rs. 10/- per day) for a noble cause for a girl. It was a coincidence that it totalled the same. I paid the money and turned back. She was still laughing. I handed over the packet to her. She was laughing and swinging in a rhythmic manner.

Crazy!

“Eat one.” I asked her. I was not sure whether she would get any apple to munch on reaching home.

She took a bite from the reddest one. Now, she was laughing hysterically and simultaneously trying to chew the bite. She lost her grip on the apple. And it was on the dusty floor. She laughed. She picked it up. Her hair was frowzled. Her teeth were shinning white. Her tongue was lolling. Her red lips were beaming. She looked darker.

She laughed wildly.

MA Kali was laughing!

A stray pup’s fate

“Come Tommy Come.” A kid of near about 6-7 years old asked a pup who was walking on the pavement.

Tommy was busy exploring the world, did not give an ear to his command.

“Say in Haryanavi (a dialect of Hindi), it will obey you. It didn’t understand English after all it is a stray pup.” I said amusingly. How do I know it is a stray pup?

In the morning, while returning from vegetable market I noticed that a pup of same colour and size was trying to enter the society gate. The security man just touched a latha to it to shoo away. It screaming loudly and ran away. It hid himself in the nearby bushy hedges and the security guard could not find it again. But how he entered the gate amidst so much security?

“Where did you find it?” A little girl of the same age asked that boy. He replied, “I can share it with you if you promise me not to tell anybody else, not even to your best friend.” “God promise!” “In the morning, I went out to buy a packet of pencils and I saw it shivering near the bushes. I gently lift it and hid it in my bag.” He smiled.

“Tommy, eat. Look she has bought churama dipped in milk for you.” The kid took the polythene from the hesitant girl and opened it nicely so that Tommy could put its mouth inside and gulp. The food was sufficient for its three meals. It started eating slowly, after eating a potion, left it and started roaming here and there. The kids were not satisfied. “Tommy have some more. Come Tommy. Be a good boy.” He lovingly said. Tommy took a few more morsels to please them.

After a while, I noticed that the boy was holding Tommy’s neck so that it could not turn his head and said to the girl who still had a fear for Tommy, “Come near and pat it gently! It will not say anything.” Tommy did not move. It was now an obedient boy!

“Tommy, you can play with my balloon.” The girl gave her balloon. Tommy sniffed, touched and kicked it.

“Shhh! Do not make any noise. Tommy is tired. It is sleeping.” The boy instructed the other kids who joined their group. They were all standing close to the bench in the society garden on which it was sleeping. The girl gently moved her arm over Tommy. The boy inquired, “Why are you disturbing it?” The girl softly said, “I was just flying a housefly who sat on its left eye.”

“Whose dog is this?” A grumpy fat aunty asked almost each and everyone in the garden and then reported the matter to the security guard.

The security guard chased it but Tommy was an Olympic athlete. Somehow, he caught him to throw it on the other side of the boundary wall of the society. “Oops! He bit me!” He shouted, lost his grip and it was out of his hands.

 “Do not hurt this poor creature. I will take him out of the main gate.” The boy pleaded. He started playing with it and took him in the direction of main gate of the society.

At night, I heard a sharp piercing cry of a pup; it was so harsh and loud that I woke up. Thereafter continuously, it screamed. I was disturbed. It would stop as soon as chaos was over. But it didn’t stop. What should I do in this chilling winter? Should I search it out in cold dark night? What if I am not able to find it? Might be the shrieks are coming from the other side of the boundary wall as at night far off noise seemed to be close. Moreover, I recalled that I was having a maun vrat (Silence until I finish my particular prayers and charity). What should I do now? My mind would not be silent if a poor creature is in pain. So keeping mouth closed will be of no use. I called security guard and inquired, “A pup is screaming from quite some time. What’s the matter?”

“From which side sound is coming?” He asked.

“Temple side.”

“I will check.”

After 15 minutes, I could only hear the rhythmic horns of the trucks moving fast on the Highway

Annadaan –Mahadaan

 

“Ma, are chole bhature ready?” I used to ask my mother as soon as I opened my eyes every year on 3^rd December until I mastered the art of cooking.

“Ya, chole are ready and I will fry hot bhaturas for you after we all do hawan and you do charity.” This would be my mother’s reply as she was always been an early riser.

My mother’s response would always astir my celebration mood.

For every occasion my menu was fixed – chole bhature. Not only that but whenever I eat out my menu was already decided – chole bhature. I did not like to go in restaurants that did not serve chole bhature. Although I loved to try chole bhature in different restaurants from dhabas to luxurious hotels.

As my age increased, the size and quantity of bhaturas decreased on my plate. With God’s grace, the quantity of donation of chole bhature improved with each passing year.

According to Shrimad DeviBhagwat Mahapuran अन्नदानं महादानं (annadaanam mahadaanam) which means donating foodstuffs is the greatest charity and अन्नदानात्परं दानं न भूतं न भविष्यति। (aanadaanatperam daanm na bhutam n bhavesyate) There is no charity as grand as donation of foodstuffs, neither in the past nor in the future. Because of generous believer in these philosophies, I love to donate edible items as much as possible.

My daily charity includes feeding birds, squirrels and stray animals like cow, bull and dog. I collect my organic kitchen waste like vegetable peels, green leftovers, broccoli stalks and feed stray animals with them. On every weekend, I cook ladoos or halwa to feed stray dogs. It is pleasing as well as sometimes embarrassing that five or six stray dogs always escort me whenever I visit a local market. While travelling in car whenever I notice a group of monkeys, I feed them with fruits, roasted channa or any other edible item that I am carrying in my bag at that time. I feel it is our duty to feed them, as there are no fruiting trees left on the roadside and there is not much food for them in the fields.

I even love to feed different species with my hands. Surprisingly, I had fed biscuits to tree pie on my palm. I had fed baby nilgai with chapatti, rabbit with Armenian cucumber and langoor with roasted channa. I have also fed herbivorous animals like camel, horse, donkey, elephant, goat, sheep etc. It is my ardent wish to feed tiger on my palm. ;)

In the winter season, when there is ample of organic vegetables from farm, I prepare different types of pickles and then gladly distribute them among my employees. I love to prepare meals like puri, chole, halwa after completing any Sadhana especially Devi Sadhana and distribute them in my locality. Whenever I eat out in a restaurant, I always bear my driver’s meal expenses. I generously donate on various occasions in bhandaras in the temples so that the nutritious and delicious food reaches even to those who cannot afford it. On solar eclipse, Diwali, Makarsankranti or any other festival, I prefer to distribute fruits to janitors and sweepers.

Tula daan means charity equivalent to one’s weight. From my birth until today, my weight is measured and foodstuffs of equal weight are donated to needy person(s). The optimistic thing about this daan is that my weight is still on increasing trend. ;)

So today, is the day for feeding others with chole bhature. It is my humble request with everyone to celebrate 3^rd December after my death as chole bhature day! :)

How many times do you breathe in a minute?

 

“How many times do you breathe in a minute?” The teacher asked the class of trps students, a training course for income tax return filing. “When I say ‘START’, begin counting your breathes and after one minute I will say ‘STOP’ then you all have to stop counting and tell me the number of times you have breathed in one minute.”

In February 2007, I was one of the students of this class. Every student stated the number of breaths around 18 except me.

“It can’t be 5!” He said surprisingly. “Chandrika, do not take long breaths like in pranayama. Just breathe normally.”

I counted again by taking short breaths as much as possible. This time it was 7! I must be doing it incorrectly. Leave it. My mind went back to the teacher’s voice.

“A normal person breathes 12-25 times in a minute. I am breathing 32 times in a minute and my doctor tells me that I will not be able to live a long life like a tortoise.” He chuckled. “He asks to quit smoking, as I am chain smoker. I drink heavily on weekends and I love nightlife. I have a girl friend, she is C.A. like me. Tell me something about yourself, any student.” 

The students were as bore as the subject.

He would then explain where they first met, what she liked, what were their future plans. All of sudden he would then start teaching the subject matter again. He used this trick to grasp the attention of students, as most of us were non-commerce students with no knowledge of income as well as tax. Moreover, we found it too difficult to focus on advance level of the subject matter without any foundation of money matters. He must be the only teacher on earth to teach income tax with a tinge of romance!

Now, I stay in Delhi and NCR. In polluted air, my normal breathing rate is 2-3 times per minute. If I am in a forest, sanctuary or in Himalayas then it drips. When I am doing meditation or pranayama it drops further and sometimes stops for a short period.

A person with stressed mind will have shorter breaths and a person with peaceful mind will have longer breaths that mean a tenses person will breathe more number of times in a minute than a calm person. If a person is in deep thinking or meditating then the breathing will be slow or suspended for some time. The breathing becomes irregular and unsteady if the mind is filled with negative emotions like anger, jealousy, envy and hatred. Mind and breathing are interrelated if you control one the other will be controlled involuntarily.

The easiest way to slow down your breaths is to exhale for longer time. Inhale gently and exhale slowly and completely. One can also practice yogic breathing with the proper use of diaphragm. Breathe in slowly; expand abdomen, then rib cage and finally the upper portion of lungs. Make the maximum use of your lung capacity. While inhaling imagines that, all the positive virtues like happiness, joy, peace and calmness are moving in. Breathe out gently, contract abdomen, then rib cage and finally relax upper portion of lungs. Concentrate on the air going out and imagining that all the negative emotions like anger, fear, hatred and stress are moving out.

How many times do you breathe in a minute? Count it. With practice, slow down it to experience happiness from within.

P.S. 1. Pic - Sketch is drawn by me.

The Power of Mantra

 

To quench my quest for meditation, I picked up the book ‘Meditation and Mantras’ by Swami Vishnu Devananda from the bookshelf of Nehra Library, Hisar which was one of the best libraries in India. Although it had a vast collection of books and journals mostly related to agriculture and its allied subjects even though it had a good collection of general books. In 1999, I often visited that library for my research work and sometimes just to pass the time.

I flipped the pages and saw a smiling photo of Swami Sivananda, founder of Divine Life Society. His irresistible smile was full of peace, kindness and compassion. His face was radiating with sheer bliss. Swami Vishnu Devananda had dedicated this book to his master.

To know why saints were always smiling, I got that book issued in my name. After thorough reading, I came to know about different ways of doing meditation as the theory and practical applicability were explained in detail. I was excited to try at least one but was not sure whether I would be doing it for long time or for a brief period just for fun.

I opted for the easiest one - Japa Meditation. It is building up or accumulating power of mantras by repeating them with love and devotion. There are different types of mantras. Saguna mantras (with form) e.g. Om Namah Sivaya, Om Namo Narayanana, Hari Om, nirguna mantras (without form) e.g. OM, abstract mantras e.g. Soham (I am That I am), Aham Brahma Asmi (I am Brahman) and beej mantras e.g. Aim, Hreem were listed. As there are, many paths to the top of a mountain so there are many mantras to God realisation. Which one should I chose? I did not know the correct pronunciation of beej mantras so I could not opt for them. Abstract mantras were abstruse and nirguna mantras were esoteric. I was left with only one option -Saguna mantras. It was easy to concentrate on the image of deity. The author emphasised that neither mantra nor deity once selected can be changed. To maintain good speed one has to stick to one path, one mantra and one deity to avoid spread of his/her energies in exploring all the other alternative paths.

I feared that if I selected a difficult mantra, I might lose interest after some time or might found it hard to chant because of change in responsibilities with time. As I would be bound to one mantra and one deity therefore, I chose the easiest mantra and the simplest of all the deities so that I could stick to it throughout my life.

I fixed an hour for chanting, focusing and meditating on that mantra facing East at the same place. To my surprise, I started having experiences in meditation as mentioned in that book just after a few months. Experiences only assured me that I was moving on the right path but for further progress, I had to ignore them completely. My goal was not the vibrant lights but the Darshan of the deity. According to Divine Life Society, if one does the chanting of mantra 13 crores of times with faith and devotion, the deity manifest itself in front of him/her.

With time, my responsibilities increased and I could not afford to sit for meditation for long hours then I decided to chant the mantra while doing my daily activities like car driving, waiting for business meeting, cooking, walking, swimming and even while moving in an elevator. My hands were busy with the work but my mind was remembering God all the time rather most of the time. I had chanted that mantra crores and crores of times. Yet I had not chanted it 13 crores times!

Constant repetition of God’s name had helped me to put a check on my negative emotions to some extent. I was not satisfied with my progress as they sprang up every now and then. The Nature showered It’s kindness and manifested in the form of Human Guru as Om Swamiji who not only helped in removing my unpleasant emotions but also showed the right divine path. His presence, words and teachings removed the thick dark forest of ignorance and purified me. His grace and presence spiritually elevated me. He is an ocean of bliss, knowledge and compassion. He helped me in lifting my head from the quagmire of worldly maya.

Swami Sivananda says, “The Guru is God Himself manifesting in a personal form to guide the aspirant. Grace of God takes the form of the Guru. To see the Guru is to see God.”

P.S.- 1. If you missed out the story of Kalavati told by Om Swamiji then you can watch it here.

2.  Amidst my chanting routine, I never forget to take my daily dose of Pingu, Shaun the Sheep or Chip and Dale to keep the kid inside me alive. ;)

3. Pic was clicked by me at Kishangarh, Rajasthan