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Thursday, June 30, 2011

SMS from unknown number!

I bought a new mobile SIM on Monday evening.

On Tuesday morning I received SMS from an unknown number.
The pain of mising frnds is reaisd when standing somwhere u see some other younger school frnds having fun n u say 2 urself "HUM BHI AISE HI THE" (WE ALSO WERE LIKE THEM)

On Wednesday morning I received another SMS from the same number.
LAW OF FRIENDSHIP : Never make Ur frendz feel alone while U r on Earth.Disturb dem as much as U can. Let dem feel ur presnce!
Show dem U r DAMN ALIVE...!!!:)
Good night
sweet dreams
take care

Do you think I activated some service by mistake (may be clicked some wrong keys) or these are messages sent to somebody else which are reaching me by chance?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Julie, the bitch

As I was placing the food wrapped in the newspaper on the ground, it slipped from my hands. The food fell away from the newspaper on the ground. Daily I fed Julie, the bitch with food placed on the newspaper. She took the food in its mouth, placed it on the paper and then started relishing it.

Do you think it is normal for this species or Julie is an intelligent bitch?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

House Vs Cage


On seeing this the first thought that came to my mind was 'Is this a house or a cage?'

Monday, June 27, 2011

Mongoose chasing a chameleon

Crossing one of the busiest roads of the countryside, a mongoose was chasing a chameleon. The distance between them became shorter and shorter. To watch this chasing I stopped my car.

What do you think mongoose will catch its prey or chameleon will change its colour to hide itself in nearby bushes?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

2 Options

An anonymous reader from Australia commented on my earlier posts whose links are given below.
Comment No.1
Comment No.2
The same anonymous person wrote a comment as A Wellwisher :)
Comment No.3

Recently anonymous commented on my previous post as
"Her blogs are so silly and down-right DUMB" the girl said.

Do you think her readers are horny because she is a female blogger or do they have pea-sized brains?


My reply :
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for being my regular reader. Out of the 2 Options suggested by you which one you chose for URSELF? ;))

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Balcony on twelfth floor


On looking down from my balcony on twelfth floor of the building a kid said, “It seems to me that I will fall down.”

Do you live above or below twelfth floor?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

How do I see my self after 3 years?

“How do you see yourself after 3 years?” A person who was studying management asked me.
Although my heart wants to get married and have a baby, my brain wants to have more than thousand blog buddies and publication of my novel yet my mouth only utters that I want to know the real name of Mago. I am damn curious to know what Ma and Go stand for.

Do you think I am reserved person who doesn’t tell secrets or I am chit-chatter who talks non-stop?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Thankless job!

“I have put on weight. I do regular exercise even then it is not reducing.” An elderly lady complained.
“What exercise you do?” The doctor asked.
“I do all the kitchen work own my own.”
“It is not considered as an exercise. Regular morning/ evening walk are considered as regular exercise.”
“What is the use of doing kitchen work all the time as it is a thankless job?” She vent out her frustrations.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Give me ONLY one tava!

“You have three tava (a large convex disc shaped griddle made up of iron used for making chapattis)!!!” A four year kid exclaimed. He was curiously opening the cupboards of my kitchen while I was preparing tea for her mother who was comforting herself in air conditioned drawing room. On seeing three tava lying side by side in shelve out of which one was used for cooking chapattis, one for roasting sweet potatoes and the other one with a flat bottom used for cooking dosa. “We have only one! Give me ONLY one tava just ONLY one. I will take it to my home then we will have two tava and you will also have two tava.” He requested cutely.

What do you suggest should I give him one tava or should make a sweet excuse to refuse?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Good movies

There are so many DVDs of good movies in this shop.

Which one should I buy?

Friday, June 17, 2011

Speaking to a cloud

While walking on the roof of my house, I had a strange feeling when I looked at the sky full of clouds. The sky had numerous of them; of all shapes, sizes and colours varying shades of grey, white, cream and orange. A tiny cloud in ochre robe considerably above the horizon appeals to me. I spoke ‘Hi Tiny’. My voice distracted it. It looked up from the laptop on which it was working. It smiled innocently.

“Do you know when my grandpa was young he wrote a poem in Urdu on talking to clouds?” I started the conversation.
“How could I? It’s a family trend.” It winked and then smiled a little more.
“He didn’t publish his work as he later on came to know that Kalidas had written ‘Meghdoot’ about talking to clouds. Although his work was different but he felt that it would give an impression of copying. So, his work remained unpublished.”
“He could have written blogs as I do.” It grinned. “You could read my musings at www.blogofasmilingcloud.com” It winked twice.

Have you ever felt that you are speaking to a cloud?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Dilemma of my life

I am standing in quite a long queue; in front of me is a sannyasin who is wearing white colored saree along with white colored shoes and purse. She is dipped in white from top to bottom except her hair which is black. On my back is standing a newly wed woman who is wearing vibrant clothes with artificial jewellery, lose hair and pencil heels. She is dipped in glitters from top to bottom except her face make up which is wiped off by the drops of perspiration.

I am in the dilemma whether I should take sannyas or tie the nuptial knot?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Too hot, too cold!

“In a restaurant whenever I eat food, the first morsel of food is too hot that it burns sensitive skin of my mouth whereas the last morsel of food is too cold that it becomes difficult for me to chew it properly.” Mrs. ‘L’ said.

Do you also feel the same?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Rich beggar

Today, I read in the newspaper that a beggar died with Rs. 1.98 lakhs in his pocket.

These days, are the beggars really poor!?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A mail

I received this mail.

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following group
of people are shipwrecked :-

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman.
2 French men and 1 French woman.
2 German men and 1 German woman.
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman.
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman.
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman.
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman.
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman.
2 English men and 1 English woman.
2 Swiss men and 1 Swiss woman.

One month later on the same island in the middle of nowhere, the following
things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a
ménage-à-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with
the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long
look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instruction>

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and
a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for
their stores.

The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian
woman keeps complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she
can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal
division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how
her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do;
how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the
taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set
up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it
gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're
satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English
woman.

The two Swiss man opened a bank and married the Bulgarian and the Japanese
women. The Swiss women founded a feminist Group and supported all the women on the island.


Do you think racial humor is funny or offensive?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Bidi time!

An elderly man who was sitting on a mudah made puff and handover the bidi to the elderly woman. She was sitting beside him on a peedah. She took it in her wrinkled hand, inhaled and filled her mouth and lungs with smoke. She passed that same bidi to the man while puffing.

Do you think they were saving a bidi or they were enjoying bidi smoking in each other’s company?

Friday, June 10, 2011

Story of a confident guy

Part 1
“There is a huge beehive on the neem tree. I am an expert in collecting honey from beehives. If you permit me I can collect.”
“You can come in the evening to do that.” I replied.
“I am skilled to do that even at noon hours. Actually ma’am I know a mantra which I chant and after that all the bees will leave this place and will go to some other place. I will collect the honey from the vacant beehive.”
“It is dangerous to do it at daytime. Better come at the dusk.”
“I am prepared with my long stick, on which kerosene dipped rugs have been tied. I will set fire to scare the worker bees to grasp the queen bee. I am ready with my bucket to collect honey.” He showed his blue colored bucket to me.
“I have to go to attend a meeting at some other site.”
“When you will return then you can see my expertise skills, ma’am.”

Part 2
Three hours later when I returned, I found the stick with burnt rugs on one edge lying on the ground. I looked up and beehive was still there and the same blue colored bucket which was in the hands of confident guy was now on the top branch of neem tree.

Do you think he forgot the mantra or lost his confidence in front of thousands of stings?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Lost my book

“Return my favourite book if you have read it.” I said to my friend.
“A day before yesterday, I took it with me on my Mumbai trip so that in the journey I could read it. On my returning flight after complete reading, I placed it in the pocket of the front seat. I forgot to take it out. Sorry yaar.”

Should I scold him for misplacing my favourite book or should I be happy as someone else will be reading that book?

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A man covering his face

In a marriage party, dance floor was full with the young persons doing sexy moves. The gathering was enjoying the high pitch music with fast dance movements. I saw near about eighty year old man sitting in the front row covering his face with his left hand. To my utmost surprise his eyes were peeping to observe those dance steps by young female members of his family.

Was he feeling ashamed or elated to observe such dance moves?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Kartiki missing!

When Kartiki was twenty eight days old, she entered my room while I was busy in completing my project report.

Near about half an hour passed and I couldn’t see or hear anything from her side which worried me. I searched her under my bed, behind the furniture and below the settees. I couldn’t find her.

By chance she went out of my room while I was absorbed in my work therefore I searched her in each and every corner of the house. And I couldn’t find her. I decided to do my remaining home work. My school bag was horizontally placed along the wall. I opened its flap and found her sleeping over my books.

She is no more. This is 300th post dedicated to her.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dangerous woman!

“On Sunday night, we had a drinking competition.” Miss ‘G’ told me. “For a foreign delegate Mr. ‘P’ a party was organised, all senior personnel were present even Managing Director of our company. Mr. ‘P’ holds some excellent offers of sale for our company hence an important person who was to be served well. Mr. ‘P’ boasted in the party that he could drink much. Nobody could beat him as his drinking capacity was of very superior class. My boss looked at me and said, “Take good care of him. Will you?” I nodded.”

“The party began with five shots, followed by three bottom ups. After that we all had to drink a glass full of wine. You know Chandrika, when vodka is mixed with wine in stomach then results can be …… So I didn’t take it rather plainly lied that that this glass of wine was not mine rather someone else. I had already finished mine. Uncountable bottles of beer were consumed by me and Mr. ‘P’ as we were the last two contestants.”

“Next morning, I reached my office on time and Mr. ‘P’ was still having hang over and couldn’t wake up till afternoon. When he returned back in this world, his first response was to know about me. It was revealed to him that I was in my office, working. He could only utter, “Dangerous Woman, she is!!!” ”

Do you think she is a dangerous woman or smart woman?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Sheila ki jawani

“What is your name?” I asked a preschooler boy.
“My name is Sheila.” He replied confidently

Should the songs like Sheila ki jawani be banned for children or should be taught like nursery rhymes as they are easy to remember than one’s own name? ;)