Which category?

“Some authors write extremely boring stuff and they not only waste their time in writing but also waste others time who reads them. And some write extremely well that one can recall even after years what they have written.” I told Mr.'H'.

“In which category do u fall, dear?” He laughingly asked.

Google plus

Mr. ‘H’ said “On Google plus I am not creating too many circles such as school friends, college friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances, blogger friends, immediate relatives, extended family members and the persons whom I want to forget but can’t.”
Seeing my confused face he explained “I mean Ex (es).”
“hmm…”
“I am different person. I like to do things differently from others.”
“Really!” I said.
“Therefore I have created only two circles one is ‘GODS’ and other is ‘DEMONS’. I’m bit confused like you in which circle should I place YOU?” He asked me with a wink.

Dr. & Cr.

“Debit and credit are the simplest terms.” Mr. ‘H’ said.
“Debit and credit are the ambiguous terms.” I said.

Do you agree with Mr. ‘H’ or me?

Any guess?

I went to the nursery to buy some flowering trees. The hedge on the boundary of nursery had something interesting. So, the photo was clicked.

Any guess what is this brown oval shaped with two white balls in it in the centre of the photo (Click the photo for larger view)?

Nakedness

My finger shifted its position as I felt a strong jerk in the moving car caused by a huge pothole. I clicked a wrong link unintentionally. The site, with nude young woman in erotic pose was opened as a result. My car took a left turn and its pace slowed down again. I looked out of the window to examine what happened? A digambar sadhu, Jain monk wearing no clothes was coming with the procession. I bow my head.

Both of them were naked, one was erotic and the other was serene. Why?

My favourite joke

My all time favourite joke is as ..

"Please give me some work. I will do anything." A young guy who was a trapeze artist in a famous circus which was shut down because of lack of sufficient funds required for its running, pleaded.
"Yesterday monkey in our zoo died. You havn't much to do, just wear this monkey dress and do some good trapeze tricks whenever there are children in front of your cage." Mr.'U' employed him viewing his past work experience and handed over the dress.

The young guy was very happy with his work and he did it sincerely.

One day he was super excited and took a long jump and fell on the other side of the cage which was of a tiger. He shivered. He screamed.
"Shut up! Shut up, you fool!" The tiger roared. "You will not only lose your job but I will also lose mine because of your stupidity."

Do you think it is a joke or irony on unemployment?

Desire

Statement 1 :
Desire is the root cause of all sufferings.

Statement 2 :
Desire is the root cause of all success.

Would you like to go with statement 1 or 2?

Cheating Vs. Fun

“One who will reach and touch the other side of the pool will be considered as winner of the race.” A leader kid made the announcement. “And the race begins…one…two…and three.”
All the kids of same age group started swimming except one who jumped out of the pool, ran towards the other end, jumped in the water and touched the other end announcing “I AM THE WINNER!”

Do you think this is cheating or fun?

Marriage is like a mouse trap!

Yesterday, Mr. ‘H’ sent this sms to me.

Marriage is like a mouse trap! Those on d outside r trying 2 get in & those on the inside r trying to get out!
Sweetheart, u want 2 stay outside with ME or go inside with ME? ;)

Kattykally

Written by Vikram Seth ‘A Suitable boy’, I was reading and came across a interesting line which I shared with my friends as my facebook status.

Facebook status :
Such is life one doesn't often get the things one wants. - Vikram Seth

One of my friends commented :
Such is life one doesn't often marvel at the things one has. – Kattykally

This is 325th post with a word of thanks to Kattykally.

History is a boring subject!

“You teach History and have done lot of research in medieval History.” A kid raised his one eyebrow in surprise while talking to the Professor of History. “History is a boring subject! There are so many names and dates to remember!”
“If you read History like a story then you will enjoy it and will find it interesting.” Prof. said.
“I ask you a riddle if you answer it correctly I will accept History is an interesting subject otherwise you have to accept that History is a very boring subject.”
“Fine.” Prof. accepted the challenge.
“During the reign of Akbar once Yamuna in Agra was flooded but the most surprising fact was that Taj Mahal didn’t drown. Why?”
Prof. looked bewildered as he had never heard of flood during Akbar’s reign.

Do you know the answer?

A Thirsty Crow (modified version)

“Once upon a time there was a crow. One hot afternoon it was thirsty. It searched for water but couldn’t find. At last it saw a water pot. It looked inside it. There was very less water in it. Its beak couldn’t reach there. It got an idea.” A kid was narrating me the mugged up story.
“It flew and found a straw in a nearby dustbin. It brought that it its beak and put it in the pot. It drank water and flew away.” I said.

What do you think the child will laugh heartedly on hearing this or will say this is not correct and will tell me the rest of the story in which the crow put the pebbles in the pot to raise the water level?

Cheapest way to ENJOY!

I saw young couple in a park, surrounding a monument. The gal was sitting crossed legs whereas the guy was lying on the green grass. The gal was caressing his hair lovingly, sometimes gave his nose a gentle touch, and moved her hands on his face lightly touching his lips with her fingertips.

She shifted a little and I could notice that his right hand was beneath her shawl which was draped around her upper body. She was wearing a top with front placket opening. The left hand of guy was playing with mobile and right hand with …...

The ticket to enter the park of the monument costs only Rs.5 per person. Is it the cheapest way to ENJOY or there are other cheaper options? ;)

After effects of Delhi Belly

“How was the movie ‘Delhi Belly’?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me while returning home.
“My ears are paining as I have to close them repeatedly with my fingers.” I said with a little wink. “It seemed you enjoyed it very much. You were laughing non stop.”
“hmmm..”
“Falling of ceiling is the best scene in the movie.”
“The quilt scenes were awesome. Not to be missed.” He winked. “F***! F***!! F***!!!” He screamed on seeing cream color paint strains on his Breeze Blue car which he parked near my house as we decided to go on our feet to the theater. “Two hours only in two hours………?” He wanted to utter all those sweet words which he had heard in the movie but controlled himself. In disgust, he looked up; a painter was painting the balcony on second floor.
“Can’t you see that there is a car parked below?” Mr. ‘H’ shouted on the painter.
“I am a painter not a watchman.” The painter replied as if nothing has happened.
“You have spoiled my newly brand car. I haven’t received its registration number. It is so new that it bears the temporary number.” Mr. ‘H’ was trying to prove him that he made a big mistake. His reluctance to listen irritated Mr. ‘H’. His angry face became weirder and he said “I will complaint against you to the higher authorities.”
“Go ahead. They will charge you Rs. 5000 for not parking your car in basement parking area. This is the area where owners park his car at his own risk. And anything can happen here. ANYTHING!”
“At least you should have told me earlier I would have removed my car from there.”
“Sorry, Sirji! Nothing can be done now!” He grinned and showed his all possible tainted teeth to us.

Mr. ‘H’ will go up and give that painter a hard blow that even the dentist will not be able to replace his teeth back or Mr. ‘H’ will ask me for some kerosene oil and a cotton rug and will put his five hours of labour to clean up that mess?

Delhi Belly

“Give me two tickets for Delhi Belly centre back.” I said at the ticket window of the theatre hall situated in a shopping mall just walking distance from my house.
“Which show?” The guy asked.
“First day first show.”
“Back is full. Middle centre is available. Seventh row from the screen.” He told me looking at the computer screen.
My friend who is almost my age whispered in my ears “Any seat yaar…any seat...for this raunchy and witty movie. I can even watch this movie sitting on the stairs.”
I smiled and said aloud, “Fine. Give those tickets.”
“Actually ma’am it has many abuses and obscene scenes. It is an adult movie and not good for family viewing. Should I give you the tickets?” The guy asked.