A simple wish

“Why do you make so many errors? If you make so, make silly mistakes then how will you bagged an award?” My father scolded me while correcting an official letter drafted and typed by me.

I looked up from my laptop screen and boldly told him, “Papa, you are a genius who has won numerous awards and I am an average IQ person. You still have a burning desire to win more awards and I have no desire to win any award. I have only one desire i.e., to do charity and I am happy with that.” After that, he never scolded me at least for an award despite he handed over a huge sum of money for my charity work.

On a spiritual path, I do not have any desire for attainment of Siddhis i.e., psychic, magical powers or supernatural abilities to have clairvoyance, levitation, bilocation, becoming as small as an atom, materialization, and having access to memories from past lives. I have a tiny desire that I never had any negative thoughts towards my Guru Om Swamiji. And I am happy with that.

Today is 11th day of fasting. With that devouring chole bhature becomes a big wish in my life! ;)

Pic : Unsplash

I Am Crying Profusely

“Rana Sangha had 80 wounds, had lost one arm and one eye in the battlefield. He was feeling severe pain in his whole body but still, he kept fighting on the battlefield. He was so brave.” My mother narrated his valor story to me while applying ointment on my knee wound.

I was crying horribly. I fell upon a rough surface while playing hopscotch and injured my knee. Most probably, I was 5 years old at that time.

“He did not cry. He was so brave. You are my Rana Sangha!” She gently patted my left cheek with love.

I wiped my tears.

Thereafter, I became Lady Rana Sangha. Any physical, emotional, mental or financial wound could not affect me, could not distress me. Slowly and gradually with time, I not only learnt to control my tears but emotions as well. I became rough and tough, a fearless and tearless woman.

Since a few days, I have been going through some Kundalini awakening experiences, like burning sensation around heart chakra, mild headache in one or the other part of head and loss of appetite (lost 2 kg in 14 days without exercising and without following any strict diet plan).

I experienced some of the weirdest of weird spiritual experiences, which could only be experienced and could not be shared with even my keyboard. My intelligent brain kept telling me that they were not spiritual experiences rather they were wild imaginations, therefore, avoid paying attention to them. However, I could not ignore them and I started crying uncontrollably. I had never cried that hard ever before.

Generally, my eyes became moist whenever I had a spiritual experience. Sometimes, one or two raindrops fell from my eyes. This time, I was crying horribly.

Dear readers, I could not share my weird experiences with you but I could definitely share my tears with you.

P.S. - सुबह से रोते रोते मेरे tissue paper खत्म हो गए हैं। Please एक tissue paper pass on करना। ;) :D

Background music - रोते रोते हंसना सीखो...

Pic : Pixabay

Wherever there's a hang-up, You'll find the Spiderman!

Venom, the villain locked us in a small cage as soon as he kicked Spider-Man far away. Spider-Man got up and hurriedly came towards us to help us, Venom stopped him in midway where they had a good fight. He punched hard and Spider-Man fell off. We were not able to see Spider-Man. We were worried about Spider-Man. With lightning speed, Venom came towards us and pushed the cage. Now, we were worried about our lives too. The cage tumbled and tumbled and started falling steeply from the rooftop of a high rising building towards the ground. The caged crowd was screaming loudly and shouting for help. However, I was calm and serene as I was sure Spider man would come to save us. Amongst all those chaos, my mind was busy singing ‘Spiderman, Spiderman! Wherever there's a hang-up, you'll find the Spiderman!’ And just before the cage hit the ground, he was right there with his spider webs to hold us from falling any further and hitting hard against the road. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief!

More than a decade ago, I experienced this in the spider man 7D movie theater in Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida.

In this incidence, I was quite sure my superhero would come and save me. Simultaneously my mind was aware of the ‘modern maya’ created by high-tech videos and special effects. The artificial environment was created to produce the effect of false reality, a story that minds believed.

In this story, the disciple was sure that his superhero, his Guru would save him before anything horrific happened. His mind was also aware of the false worldly illusion known as Maya. Swami Sivananda says, “That which truly is not, but appears to be, is Maya. Maya is neither true nor false. It is truly false and falsely true. It is neither real nor unreal.” He further suggested the way to control it, “Control of mind is control of Maya. Control of Maya is control of mind. Maya plays through mind. Maya havocs through mind. Maya vanishes entirely as soon as the knowledge of Supreme Self dawns.”

Om Swamiji says, “Don’t let the illusion fool you.”

Tobey is my favorite spider man, and yours?

Pic : Unsplash

A Leap of Faith

Like any other morning, I looked at the rising sun from my balcony, closed my eyes and visualized that at my Ajna chakra while reciting my daily prayers. “O’ Sun God, please bless everyone with the light of knowledge, with showers of love as well as dispel the darkness of ignorance.” In the round orange ball between my eyes, I saw Om Swamiji’s smiling face. It was a unique experience. My mind ignored it as it might be the effect of watching His videos all the time mostly in the free time. However, during COVID times every time is a free time. Nevertheless, the image did not fade until I finish my routine prayers.

On the same day, I visualized Him as my deity. And every other God that I worship. Although I daily meditate on the Guru in the wee hours but this spiritual experience was different! I had never read about such experience nor had I ever experience it before. Therefore, I decided to ask Google Baba. Bolo Google Baba ki jai!

I came across this video about Nath Sampradaya (T 3:30- 4:15) in which 92 years old Dr. Himmat Singh Sinha told that Guru leads you to the God therefore; in this whole universe, no God is higher than the Guru is. The greatest God is the Guru. This statement made me curious to know more about Nath Sampradaya. I opened the Wikipedia page and read a beautiful story about Maha Yogi Gorakshnath, a revered figure in Nath tradition. Once he asked all his disciples to jump from the branch of a huge tree on a trident. Because of fear of death, all his disciples backed. Only one disciple took the bold step and decided to jump. A leap of faith! As he jumped, the invisible hand of Maha Yogi hold him and blessed him with enlightenment.

“Guru is God. A word from him is a word from God. He shows you the right divine path. He makes you immortal and divine.” These quotes are from the book ‘Divine Bliss’ by Swami Sivananda. 

I am ready to jump. Are you?

To be continued...

P.S. – Yesterday, when I opened Wikipedia page, this story was right there. But today when I decided to tag it on my post, I found it missing. I thought I might have opened a wrong page. I went through the history of my internet search to open the same page. Surprisingly, it was still missing.

क्या कहेंगें आप इसे आंखों का धोखा या गुरु कृपा?

या हर समय बदलता विकिपीडिया?

Pic : Unsplash

Freedom from piercing pain

                       

It bled. It hurt. That broken thorn, prickly thorn struck deep in my heart. Exactly ten years back, it struck there, leaving me heart struck. I tried to pull it out, unfortunately, it broke mid-way through. It hurt me. It pained me. With time, it penetrated deep causing a twinge of guilt. To forget that piercing pain, most of the time I barefooted walked on a razor-sharp sword and sometimes on burning coal to forget that smoldering ache.

A saint in a black robe appeared from a thin air who keenly observed that tapas. I bowed him. Seeing my only desire for God realization, his microscopic eyes with numerous siddhis searched for the cause of old pain. I was as calm as a bomb. He stared. He searched. A storm of thoughts came from nowhere and I was caught in it. He came to know about the gentle falling of silken rose thriving in vigor, shape and beauty, vanishing of scarlet fascination, a sudden piercing of thorn, and a torn thorn. To relieve me of that stale strain, he gently pulled it out with ease and care. Nevertheless, even the gentle movement of that deeply struck thorn pained me like hell. A dormant volcano of anger erupted from me. You are not a true sage! Ignoring my instant harsh reaction, he completely pulled out that worn and torn thorn to ease my pain and to relive me. The hot molten lava merged with the ocean of compassion forming a new estuary of pure love.

As black color absorbs all light, the saint in black robe absorbed all agony. Surprisingly after taking out that tiny thorn, there should be a hole but there was no hole. He immediately filled the cavity with compassion, a feeling unknown to me. On practicing that divine emotion, I came to know that the sharp thorn of pain had now transformed into a bright red rose, blooming brightly and blessing others with the fragrance.

After two years, the crown experiencing Kundalini sensations bowed down to His Padma feet and thought a happiest thought it could. ‘I am forever grateful!’

P.S. 1. अपना सुलगना किस को दिखाऊं ;)
Nothing to worry guys, I just have a mild fever. :D

2. From now onward, my name is Rose ;), nah Gulabo. :D

Pic: Pixabay

Male Heart in a Female Body

“I am scared!” He said while we were strolling. At that time, I was in mid-thirties and he was in early twenties.

As I was lost in my thoughts, he repeated, “I am extremely scared!” It was dusk not dark; we were in a congested market not in a lonely forest. I could not understand the reason of his fear.

“What happened?” I enquired.

“Everyone here is......”

I looked around there were raidiwalas selling fruits, vegetables and plastic items to labourers and worker class; surprisingly they all belonged to a particular community, as it was evident from their physical appearance and costumes. A few minutes earlier, both of us just got down from company’s luxury bus while returning from the three-day trip to Agra. As there were other members to drop off at various locations, we got off on the main road, a bit away from our destination.

“How far is your shop?” I asked to divert his tensed mind.

“About 200 meters away.”

“In which direction?”

He pointed in the lane on the left side and said, “That cream color building adjacent to the blue one.”

I could not realize the reason of his fear as not only his shop but also my car was faintly visible from there. As soon as we got down from bus, his kind-hearted boss took away our luggage on bike; hence, I could run fast without luggage if by chance anything fearful happened. I could scream aloud which would be audible to his boss as well as to my driver. I could punch hard as I was holding keys in my hands. I could hit the culprit with my purse like in Hollywood movies or I could throw vegetables and fruits on the offender like in Bollywood movies. With so many options in hand, there was no need to panic. Moreover, everybody in the market seemed to be busy with his affair. Nobody seemed to be bothered or had even noticed our presence.

By the time, we had crossed the market and now we were in the not so narrow lane.

“You can hold my hand.” I said to make the atmosphere light.

He tried to prove the seriousness of the situation. “Even senior police officers leave this area during night. If they stay here, the mob attacked them.”

“hmmm...”

“I am fresher, and this is my first job. I have no other option but to do it. I did not like this place as I am vegetarian and most of the restaurants here serve non-vegetarian food. If I feel hungry during the lunch time, I have no other option but to eat bananas.”

Poor chap!

He continued his story, “I have no friends here. I work hard so that company’s executive staff transferred me to some other place, just any place even a small village. I can live anywhere except this town.”

I tried to change the topic, “Your boss is a nice person. See how cooperative he is! He gave his Agra trip pass to you. He took away our luggage and bags.”

“Yes, he is. I do not want to stay here at night. The last bus to Sohna has left at 6 pm. Now, it is 6:35. How will I go home? It is very dangerous to travel in a tempo or three-wheeler at night in this area. I am scared. I am confused. What to do?” On a cold winter evening, I noticed few drops of perspiration on his temple.

Because of security reasons, I never gave lift to anybody. To relieve him, I had to change my mind and asked him to drop him to Sohna. Aandha kya chahe do aankein! (A blind man has the desire for only two eyes! Meaning Fulfillment of a desired wish) He gladly jumped into the car. As it was quiet dark outside, his sense of fearfulness began to engulf him once again. To calm him, I chatted with him for the next 30 minutes about his life, his family, his education, his dreams, his plans and more.

After dropping off him to the main chowk of Sohna, I asked my driver to take the car to my house in Gurugram.

Looking at the twinkling stars, I thought he had a female heart in a male body whereas I had a male heart in a female body!

Pic : Stocksnap

My Tiny Wings of Transformation

Splash! An unwanted muddy shower!

A car drove through a muddy puddle on a side road and drenched me as I was walking to a nearby market for repairing of my mobile. I noticed big strains of mud on my clothes. Surf Excel hai na! May be the car driver did not notice the muddy puddle or maybe there was not enough space to avoid that puddle. I consoled myself that it was neither driver’s bad intention nor fault but just an accident or a mere coincidence. I ignored it and absorbed my mind in my mindful practice.

A few minutes later, I realized that on any other day I would have screamed or shouted on the driver for spoiling not only my clothes but my mood also. Or at least I would have cursed him/her in my heart for reckless driving in rainy season. However, today was different!

My attitude towards the driver was changed. I was seeing the things from his/her angle. I was trying to put myself in his/her shoes. I was trying to understand the problems he/ she might be facing while driving after repeated heavy rains – potholes, puddles and pedestrian problems.

I was transformed. My old mould of mud was broken and now, my pure self was clearly visible. How was that possible? I tried my very best to sincerely do the practice as suggested by Om Swamiji in Guru Purnima Disciple Zoom Event. In less than a week, the results were evident.

I was happy like a butterfly with my new wings of transformation! :)

Dear readers, those who did not attend Guru Purnima Disciple Zoom Event can do any Sadhana suggested by Om Swamiji in Devi Bhagavatam – Hindi. In my view, there was not much difference between the two as He advised both. :) My prayers and best wishes to all of you so that you all will be able to watch the recording of that event soon! :)

Pic : When tiger takes rebirth as butterfly then it looks something like this! ;)