Wittiest pic of 2011!

While surfing net I come across this pic with the caption ‘Gas Transplant’. This is the wittiest pic I have seen in 2011!

Goodbye 2011!

Courtesy (pic): thewittyshit.com

GOD?

“I don’t believe in God. I hate God.” A middle aged widow said after hearing about the untimely death of her daughter. She was a religious woman before this incidence.

Why we have faith in GOD when we are happy and loses it as soon as any sorrow comes in our lives?

On the other side of fence

I clicked a photo of them and showed them. And then they all gave this beaming pose. The group was standing on the other side of fence saying ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ to each passer-by. Most of the persons were ignoring them.

I searched my purse of some toffees and found only one.

What do you think should I give them or should drop that idea as they were four in number?

Erotic romance

Mr. ‘S’ asked me. “Do you write short stories for kids?”
“Believe me or not, I write erotic romance.” ;)

This is 400th post.:)

Dustbin?

As we were walking through a forest area, the kid in our group after eating chocolate asked me, “Should I throw this wrapper in this dustbin?” I couldn’t see any other dustbin nearby nor was sure what this construction was for. In such a situation what do you think should be mine reply?

Chuja in the bank!

“Chuja! Chuja Stop!! CHUJA STOP!!!” A young woman screamed to a tiny dog whose chain slipped from her hand in the bank. She tried to stop him while slowly running towards him.

Which was more irritating; she brought the dog in the bank or the dog name was ‘Chuja’ (chick)?

Evening walk companion!

“What are you doing?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me on phone.
“Evening walk!” I replied.
“Alone?”
Just then I saw a creature moving along the side of path with me. So I said. “No. Not alone.”
“With whom?” He was damn curious to know.

Short story competition

I am thinking of participating in a short story writing competition. I have to frame a story of more than 5000 words which is really a tough task for me.

As the genre is mythology should I write an incidence form Ramayana or Mahabharata?

Lights in meditation

“With close eyes the colors we see are more vibrant and bright as compare to what we see with our open eyes.” I told my student.
“Is it true?”
“Why don’t you experience it yourself?” I suggested.

Parking charges

“Madam, your parking charges are Rs. 10/- as you parked your car here at 2pm.” He said.
I searched my pockets, found thousand rupee notes only and hesitantly asked. “Do you have the change?”
“For hundred rupees? Yes. Yes.”
“No.”
“For five hundred? Yes. Yes.”
“No.”
“Then?”
“For thousand rupee.”
“Don’t you have the change. Madam?”
“Let me see.” I searched the car pocket in which I kept some change. At that time there were two coins of one rupee and one coin of two rupees and a total of Rs. 4/- in it. “What do you want Rs. 4/- or return the change for Rs. 990/-?”

Thanks to IndiBlogger Team!

I thank IndiBlogger Team for providing me a platform to meet other bloggers from diversified fields in New Delhi HP IndiBlogger Meet 2011. It was pleasant experience to be a part of the functions, well organised and entertaining. Games, prizes, tea with snacks and funny debate were the main attractions of it. Once again I want to thank IndiBlogger Team for organising it.

And a free T-Shirt for me!
Can’t it be organise frequently so that I can have some more free T-shirts? ;)

New Delhi HP IndiBlogger Meet 2011

These are the comments I received about my blog in New Delhi HP IndiBlogger Meet 2011.

Which one you like the most out of these?

Interesting riddle

“Can you name 5 colors starting with letter ‘B’ in one minute without taking any help from google?” Mr. ‘H’ asked.

Langur on three wheeler

Today I saw a langur sitting on the roof of a three-wheeler which was headed towards some unknown destination. It had a rope in its neck and the other end was in the owner’s hand who was sitting inside the moving vehicle. I searched my purse for mobile to click the photo. Oops! I forgot it at home.

Do you think it is a common or rare scene?

High tea

“I have an invitation of a meeting and they will be serving high tea.” I said excitedly.
“That’s great.” Mr. ‘H’ said.
“Will they be serving tea mixed alcohol in it?”
“Oh! No. No….They will be serving tea with pakodas.”
“OMG! They will blend something… I mean something wrong in pakodas.”
He winked. “Why don’t you ask this with your blogger friends?”
“Is it really a worth question asking them?”

Your best work

While reading guidelines for submission of short story to a reputed magazine I come to know that they want me to submit my one of my best work. I can’t decide which my best or worst work is, really I can’t. Even if someone ask me which is my best blog I am undecided because I can write and I find myself unable to judge my own writings.

Do you guys know which is your best work/ blog till date?

Grass not so green!

“Why did you click the photo of the grass that is not so green?” Mrs. ‘L’ asked me.
“I did not click it for the grass but….. What?” I replied while raising my eyebrows.

One more year

With the increase in the size of frowns and decrease in the size of smiles on my face I add up one more year to my life…;)

Do you think should I ask a question at the end of this post also?

Discrimination

In a bar, I saw that on a table a couple was sitting; husband was sipping beer and wife was neither drinking tea, coffee, soft drink, fruit juice or lime water rather she was slowly sipping plain water not even packed mineral water.

Do you think this is discrimination against woman or no?

New additions in my room

“Wow! Bird’s nests with little birds!!” A kid exclaimed on seeing the new additions in my room.
“I bought them from the Trade Fair, Delhi. They are made up of coconut coir.” I said.
“What are their names?”
“I am thinking of naming them but haven’t taken any final decision. You suggest some.”
“You can name them ‘Orange’ and ‘Blue’ as their colors are.”
“That’s too simple. Some thing unique, I was thinking of….like…”
Before I could say anything he uttered “‘Burger’ and ‘Pizza’! My all time favourite!!”


What do you think which one should I name ‘Burger’ and which one ‘Pizza’?” ;)

Write for …?

“First ask yourself for what you write for ‘MONEY’ or ‘SELFSATISFACTION’?” Mr. ‘J’ asked me.
“I write for comments. More comments motivate me to write more!” I replied. :)

And you write for what?

Kolaveri Di

“Kolaveri Di, a Tamil song with some English words here and there, sounding witty with catchy beats is a record breaking spree. I don’t understand Tamil still I am humming it. Can you believe it I have listened it atleast 37 times?” I excitedly said. “It seems that I am crazy about its tunes.”
“Yesterday I heard it 174 times and today my target is to break my own record.’ Mr. ‘H’ said.

How many times you have heard this song?

Lights! Lights!!

As the chief guest entered the conference hall the lights went out. There was complete darkness till the electricity came back after a few seconds.

If I was not the chief guest of that function do you think it was funny or irritating? ;)

Cow up!

“What is in this basket? Fruits?” In the lift which was moving down a guy asked me pointing towards the basket I was holding.
“No. It contains food for the cow. Daily I give food to the cow before taking my meal.” I replied.
“Cow up!” Innocently he asked.
“If cow up in my flat then I would have been carrying cow dung in the basket and not food.” I thought. “It's smell would have stunk.”

Do you think he just wished to time pass in the lift by asking this or he was really curious to know what the basket contain?

Parrot on my finger...

“Do you see my photo on facebook?” I enquired a kid.
“Which one?” He asked.
“The latest one with the parrot on my finger!”
“Oh! That one with a fake parrot, made up of clay.”
“No! NO! That was real. A real parrot on my finger!”
“You can’t fool me after all I am a grown up man.” He said confidently.

Do you think I was telling a story or speaking the truth?

Birds Charitable Hospital

I visited Birds Charitable Hospital in Sadar, Gurgaon. There are sick pigeons, parrots, bajarigars, love birds and various other birds that are fed, given proper treatment under vet guidance. On curing birds like pigeons and parrots they release them to fly. The birds like bajarigars are adopted by the interested candidates as they can’t be released if done so will be eaten by the birds of prey. There is long waiting to adopt bajarigars.
Pic : For those which can't fly or very ill, need separate unit.

Do I have my name on waiting list to adopt bajarigars?

Birds in a room!

While walking through one of the streets of Gurgaon, I looked up and saw various birds behind the metallic perforations covering windows. I curiously went inside. There I met Mr. ‘L’ who showed me the whole area. We went upstairs and I click this photo where there were a variety of birds in just one room.

Do you have any idea what it could be?

I hate my mother

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, ‘EEEE, your mom only has one eye!’I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, ‘ If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, ‘How dare you come to my house and scare my children!’ GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!’And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,’ and she disappeared out of sight.One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.‘My dearest son,I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.With all my love to you,
Your mother.’

My views on this story which I read somewhere on the net : If mother had told his child earlier, he would have taken good care of her in old age. Now he would only be guilty for his doings. In a way mother made a mistake by not telling him the truth earlier.

Do you agree or disagree with me?

I & Big B

Directory of Best Indian Blogs
My name and blog are written just below BIG B's. :D

This is 375th post! :))

A reply

This is reply to Harman's second comment on previous post.
Happy Diwali to you, dear. Hope you had a great time with your family.
I enjoyed it very much as I shifted in my new home just a couple of days before Diwali. In the photo you can view the Gurgaon City from my balcony situated on eleventh floor.

On Diwali I was not feeling well; cold, cough and fever may be because of fatigue as a result of shifting or mild viral infection or both.

Tiredness and happiness comes together. What do you think?

Addictive

“Do you have an account on facebook?” An elderly woman asked me.
“Ya.”
“It is so addictive.” She said.
“Do you blog, Chandrika?” A girl asked who was standing near us.
“Yup.”
“It is more addictive.” The young person said.

What do you think which is more addictive updating status on facebook or writing blogs on blogspot?

Dehusked coconut shell

On dehusking this coconut I found a white portion on one of its eyes like markings. I have seen this for the first time. Have you seen it before?

Best Compliment

Susan Deborah in her post ‘Tell me’questioned....
WHAT IS THE BEST COMPLIMENT THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED?
My comment was "Your laugh can make others laugh so keep laughing!" :D

Do you think this is a quality that everyone possess or a special quality gifted to me by GOD?

A short story by me

“Have you copied it from somewhere?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me after reading the rough draft of my story.
“No. I write it. It is my story.” I replied.
“You can’t write that good, dear.” He beamed.

Do you think it is praise or criticism?

Fishing

Yesterday I read …
That a man went for fishing. He lost his both arms as a fish ate them while fishing.

Do you think it is funny or piteous?

Two years old

“I want this toy.” I pointed towards this particular sewing machine, when I was two years old.
“You can buy some toy like doll which closes and opens its eyes or bird which drinks water.” My uncle suggested me.
“NO. I want this.” The working model of sewing machine attracted me more than any other costlier toy.
My childhood passion developed into the career as Lecturer in Fashion Designing. I love this toy very much that even after so many years it is still working as you can see in the video the sewing needle moves up and down with the movement of handle.

Conclusion of this story is that my blog is two years old. ;)

The worst observer, ME!

“You have observed nothing, Chandrika. You have applied for this post last year and what have you observed since then? NOTHING!!” A senior person of the company discouraged me while interviewing. The other two young persons seemed to be impressed with my work.
Ya, may be I have not observed up to his expectations. As I is a keen observer how can I miss to see that senior person opened the container of Pan Parag, put some in his mouth while speaking. “You are the worst observer I have ever seen in my life!”

Do you think one can chew tobacco in office or is it prohibited?

Calm mind

“Close your eyes and try to visualise the best scene you have ever seen in your life which calms your mind.” A saint asked the group.
I closed my eyes to concentrate.
“Open your eyes and tell me what do you see?” Two minutes later, he asked me.
“I saw a large channel which I used to cross while going to school in my childhood days. There is a huge harsingar tree (Nyctanthes arbor-tristis) on one of its side near the bridge. During blossom most of its tiny white flowers with orange-red tube fall in the channel and floats with the swift flow of water. I collected those tiny flowers which were not lucky enough to fall in soothing water and fall on hard ground".

If you close your eyes which beautiful scene you imagine that calm mind?

Seasoned writers

"Generally, seasoned writers turned their real life fiascos into fiction." Mrs. 'G' said.

So guys, what do you think my posts on this blog are my real life fiascos or fiction?

Dream Interpretation

“I saw my boyfriend dressed totally in black color. His face was powdered with black color. He was laughing uncontrollably. I told him that he looked like a ghost. I woke up sweating.” A girl of marriageable age told me.

“Strange dream!” I said.

“I can’t understand what this strange dream means?!? Interpret for me what this means as Chandrika, you have read lots of books on dream interpretation. I only know that I really love him and desperately want to marry him” She looked at me with curious eyes.

Should I tell her that this dream indicates that her marriage with him will not be possible or should I tell her that forget it as it is just a dream not reality?

Blog for WHAT?

“Hell, I can’t make money out of damn blogging.” Mr. ‘L’ uttered disappointingly.

Dear blogger friends, do you blog for yourself or for money?

TV antennae

“Why have you put the hanger in the balcony like this?” I asked a kid.
“Yesterday we bought a new TV. This is TV antennae. It catches signal and transfer them to TV.” He replied with overwhelming confidence.

Do you think this juggad works or is it to keep the child busy till dish is installed?

Khichadi - my all time favourite

“What have you cooked today?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me as aroma enters his nostril. We were sitting in the drawing room to which kitchen was adjacent to.
“Nothing special.” I replied.
“It smells tremendous good. What have you prepared in the dinner?”
“Just normal food.” I hesitated to tell.
“What na?” He insisted.
“Khichadi!.”
“WHAT?????????????”
“Ya, it is my all time favourite and is also known as hotchpotch, a mixture of boiled pulses, rice and salt.”
“Whenever I prepared it never smells so good. HOW does it smell excellent?”

Does anyone know the answer to this question?

Relaxing game!

“Enough of work! Let’s play a game.” Mr. ‘H’ suggested.
“Game?!? I have to work. Lots of work is yet to be done.” I said.
“It is game to relax mind. After playing it you will be able to work better.” He took a white paper to draw a star with ten points. He put the nine coins on each point mentioned except on No.8. “You have to remove a coin by jumping another coin over it along one of the lines. The position you jump to, beyond the coin, must be empty.”
“That’s tricky!”
“You have to remove all but one of the coins from the star.”
“Any clue how to begin?”
“Coin at position No. 5 jumps No.7 which I remove and rests at No.8. There is one more condition especially for you that you can’t take the help of your blogger friends.”

Do you think it is an easy game and I did it before publishing or it is a difficult game and I genuinely need my blogger friend’s help?

Body tremors

“Earthquake is coming! Can you feel it?” I asked Mr. ‘H’.
“If you won’t take your lunch till 6pm you will for sure feel body tremors.” He replied.
“Earthquake is still there I can feel the tremors.”
“If you keep working all the day without taking meal at proper time, you will feel earthquakes of even higher intensity then what you are felling now. Why don’t you take the meal at proper hour?”

My favourite dish

“We are organising a party. Come and join us!” Mr. ‘H’ said.
“I do not like to go to parties.” I replied.
“I will ask the chief chef to prepare your favourite dish as main dish. Now you must join us.”
“If my favourite dish is served in the party as main dish then nobody will enjoy.”

Can anyone guess which my favourite dish is that is not relished by masses?

P(R)AN Application form

“This form is to be filled with black ink and not in blue as you have done.” Going through the application form holding in his hand Mr. ‘K’ said.
“It is written no where on the form.” I said.
“PAN form is to be filled in BLACK ink only. You have to fill it again.”
“I fill a PRAN application form not PAN. I want a Permanent Retirement Account Number rather Permanent Account Number.” I said.
“Ohho! For that you can fill in it with any ink.”

Do you think he needs specks which correctly show letter ‘R’ in between ‘P’ and ‘A’ to him only? ;)

Halt in traffic jam

“A few rain showers create pools and potholes on roads. One is halted in traffic jam whichever road one takes to the destination. It is irritating as well as frustrating because one is going nothing, a total wastage of time!” I said.
“You can honk to irritate others! Why to be frustrated alone?” Mr. ‘H’ said with a little wink.

Soft!

“Papa, you should shave!” A little girl said to his father as she touched his face by mistake while swimming on Sunday evening.
“What is the use of that, my child?” He calmly asked.
“You will be soft SOFT!”

Does this story bring smile on your soft face? ;)

Thank You!

Jack left this comment on the previous post.
Finally caught up with all pending posts since 12 Aug and left comments on each. Read if you have time and patience.

My reply :
Thanks Jack for patiently reading all my posts and leaving comments on them. I always spare time to read the views, suggestions and criticisms of my readers. It is just that I am bit lazy or bit busy or both so as to I do not reply to each and every comment personally. I apologise for that.

Do the readers think that writing ‘Thank you’ to each comment makes the content on the blog boring or it must be done as a polite etiquette?