Guru as Sole Refuge

“Without my Guru’s wish not a single leaf can move in my life.” I told my mentor.

“How is that possible?” He asked out of curiosity.

“He connected me with the bond of mantras. The more I chanted the stronger the bond with Him. At my stage of spiritual evolution, the Guru has full control over the disciple's life irrespective of whether the disciple lives near Him or at far off place. What matters is the nearness of the heart.” I took a deep breath and continued, “He is 'The Rainmaker’ as He can create rain. He can stop the fire in the woods with His shakti. If someone is fatally ill, then He can cure that person and save him from the clutches of the Lord Yama – The God of Death. He is very powerful.”

“hmmm...”

“The relationship with the master is entirely on a different plane – spiritual plane. As I am talking to you if He wishes He can trace this conversation and can keep a track of my thoughts. Therefore, I have to think positive all the time. He is the transmitter of good ideas, commands and positive thoughts whereas I am a receiver who has to be ego-free for a good receptor by shedding all negative thoughts and emotions. Most importantly if my mind is empty it will act as a good receiver, but you know my mind is full of Tollywood and Bollywood drama. I quoted Swami Venkatesananda that the communication can take place between the two only when the disciple and the master have become like one, where they are on the same level and on the same wavelength.”

Whenever I am tense because of some business problem and unseen future troubles me, I tell myself that nothing can happen in my life without His wish. So, whatever will happen whether I like it or not it will happen with His wish only. Swami Sivananda said, “By Guru’s grace, the disciple can overcome obstacles and doubts on the path. There must be a perfect unity between the Guru and disciple and then the disciple will be immediately benefitted.”

Whether I am crying or laughing, happy or sad, successful or failed- all this happens with His Grace! Because He is my sole refuge and has full control over my life. He guides me through His strong spiritual thought-currents. Many times, I have felt that.

Now, once again when my life is falling apart, I comfort myself that it is only His wish as nothing can happen in my life without His wish. In this way if He wants me to be spiritually evolved, I must happily accept that. I have to excitedly drink whether He offered me juice of life or poison of life. Swami Satyasangananada Saraswati said, “Guru’s grace can manifest in many ways – it may be pleasant and sweet, or severe and unpleasant. Most disciples believe that when the guru speaks with kind and soft words, he is bestowing a blessing and the more pleasant and charming he is, the more grace is being bestowed. But this need not to be true. Guru’s grace can be very unpleasant at times. The guru chops, saws, and cuts the disciple’s ego with a clear vision of what he is trying to achieve and shows no mercy until he has finished the product. As the carpenter transforms the wood into an object of utility, purpose and beauty, the guru transforms the disciple into a liberated being, to be the guiding light of many.”

P.S. 1. Ma (my mother) shared this couplet with me from the book ‘भजन-सुधा’ from page no.44 from the bhajan ‘गुरू वंदना’ -

तत्त्व ज्ञान गुरु ने बतलाया, 

अंधकार सब दूर भगाया,

ह्रदय में भक्ति दीप जला कर, 

हरि दर्शन का मार्ग बतलाया।

Navarna Mantra Sadhana in Sadhana App

“I want to abandon Navarna Mantra Sadhana in Sadhana App.”

I felt this, after doing the first day Sadhana because nyasa had too many bugs, the voice was not synchronized with the clippings moreover, one of the nyasa was missing from the verbal diction. The voice modulation was not smooth, one line was in high pitch and the next line in low pitch making it very difficult for me to concentrate on the prayers of offerings to the deity. The image of deity was too complicated, I found it hard to focus on that idol. It was not as simple as the image of Lord Ram in Ram Temple (Chitrakoot) or Lord Ganpati in Ganesha Temple (Gajkarne). I was in a dilemma to complete or not to complete this Sadhana.

Next day, I contemplated that whatever problems or difficulties might come in the path of Sadhana I must try my best to complete this Sadhana as the Sadhana of Navarna Mantra becomes very powerful when done in Navratri. To overcome the hurdles on the path of Sadhana, I decided to touch one or the other part of my body while doing nyasa. Even if it was correctly voiced, I could rarely perform it accurately as the act of placing a mantra on different parts of the body was always a complicated procedure for me. To beat the voice modulation problem, I chose to focus on the words and their meanings rather than on its pitch. Further I made up my mind to concentrate on the image of Ma Tripursundari as mentioned by Swamiji instead of that complicated black color idol with gold embellishments.

After deciding to proceed further I started the Day 2 Sadhana in Sadhana App. While chanting Navarna Mantra I realized that my left hand felt a surge of energy. It was moving. My left palm involuntarily twisted and twitched. After a couple of minutes my whole arm from fingertips to shoulder became heavy and numb. To my utmost surprise my right arm was normal, there was no extra flow of energy in it. Why this difference? I recalled that Swamiji had told many times that feminine energy lived on His left side.

Navarna Mantra Sadhana is a very powerful Sadhana in Sadhana App and it is highly recommended for those who are interested in progressing on the path of tantra. Ignore the bugs and experience the flow of feminine energy on the left side of your body with this amazing Sadhana in Om Swamiji’s dynamic voice which alone is capable of removing all flaws.

Pic : Ma Durga Temple (Kadamb Van) in Sadhana App.

Now, My Life Belongs to Others.

“Do you know what a gas chamber is?”

Before sharing the story that I heard from Sadhguru, I asked my genius brother as I only had a vague idea about it. I knew that a gas chamber could kill living beings but exactly how it worked, I was clueless.

He replied, “During the World War, the Nazis captured numerous European Jews. To kill them became a big question therefore their scientists suggested to build the gas chambers. In them, they released certain gases like carbon monoxide which resulted in mass murder of the victims of the Holocaust in that air-tight apparatus.”

Bhai is a mobile Encyclopedia!

“Only a certain number of people could be killed in a gas chamber. Every day the rulers summoned the prisoners to be gassed. On such one day, like a routine, a young prisoner was called out. This macabre ritual made him damn scared. He was horrified and terrified on seeing his death so close. One Rabbi noticed his suffering, felt the intense pain he was going through and offered him to exchange their shirts.  Rabbi soothed him and asked him to stay back. Instead of the young victim, Rabbi went into the gas chamber wearing the shirt bearing the young man's number. In a quote Swami Sivananda says that conquest of the fear of death, conquest of death, is the highest utility of all spiritual Sadhana. The one aim of all Yoga Sadhana is to meet death fearlessly and joyfully. Rabbi happily and peacefully went inside the gas chamber to save the life of the young man who was later released. Throughout his life the young man had a vivid remembrance of that generous Rabbi for liberating him from that gruesome experience and saving his life.”

These days, I feel that I am in the gas chamber. I have no desire to live for myself. With my penance I am giving away my life’s healthy years to a dying person because now, my life belongs to others. Albert Einstein said, “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”

Pic : Pexels

Vision of Lord Ganesha and His blessings

 

Problems! Problems! Problems!

“Oh Lord Ganesha! I have problems in my personal life. I have problems in my professional life. I have problems related to my health. Only my spiritual journey was smooth sailing, now there are problems in that too. Please help me in removing obstacles from my spiritual path.” Using Sadhana App, I ardently prayed to the God who has a curved trunk.

Earlier I was disappointed as I could not start any more sadhana in Sadhana App as I was already doing Ram Tantra Sadhana in Sadhana App and only one sadhana can be done in it at one time. I wanted to worship Lord Ganesha starting from Ganesha Chaturthi but the traditional method of doing sadhana as mentioned in ‘The Ancient Science of Mantras’ required a lot of Gayatri Mantra japa one day before the commencing of sadhana. I could not practice it because of some business-related work which required my urgent attention. I desperately wanted to do Ganesha Sadhana to remove hindrances coming unexpectedly on my spiritual journey. Thinking about Lord Ganesha and His wise tricks to achieve the goal, a naughty idea hit my mind.

I downloaded Sadhana App on my old mobile and hurriedly logged in using my name as ‘Chhole Bhature Ma’. I clicked the options of doing Ganesha Sadhana. As the chant started, I was surprised it was the sadhana of the same mantra that I wanted to do. Although the Ganesha Mantra ‘Om Vakratundaya Hum’ was not in the ‘Japa option’ in Sadhana App. In this mantra ‘Om’ is the universal sound, ‘Vakratundaya’ is the one who has a curved trunk and ‘Hum’ is the beej mantra of Lord Shiva who dispels all sorrows.

Almost daily I cried horribly and asked Lord Ganesha to come and help me in sorting out my problems. Sometimes I sobbed, sometimes I cried, sometimes I wept loudly and many times I would cry out my heart. Most of the time, my fervent prayers were heard, and I felt that Lord Ganesha had put His trunk on my head. The more I cried the more I experienced the presence of ‘Vakratundaya’, the one with a curved trunk near me, caressing me with His trunk and comforting me in all possible ways.

One day before the last day of my sadhana, I had a faint vision of Lord Ganesha in my meditation in which I saw His eyes, His Eyebrows and His curved trunk. For the first time in my life, I experienced the manifestation of a masculine energy with my closed eyes. I was not doing sadhana in any remote place like the bank of a river, near the ocean, in a cremation ground, in a cave or in a dense forest rather I was doing sadhana in my comfy home. I did not opt for an elaborate and complicated sadhana. I just did the sadhana for 28 days with the chant of only 11 minutes in the Sadhana App. Frankly speaking, even now I could not do the correct nyasa, sometimes I placed the mantra on the wrong body part thinking that at least I placed it on one or the other body part. It is not only surprising for you but also for me. But anything is possible with the Guru’s Grace. It is possible only because of Om Swamiji’s blessings and the lineage blessings.

P.S. 1. If you wish to know which sadhana is good for you in the Sadhana App then please write to me at CHANDRIKASHUBHAMATGMAILDOTCOM. 

Pic : Ganpati Tantra Sadhana in Sadhana App

Life Hit Me Hard, But I Decided to Embrace it.

My best friend stabbed me just for a temporary job.

“I am selected as a Research Fellow in ‘XYZ’ project.” She excitedly broke the news to me over the phone.

“When was the interview?” A surprised me asked.

“Today morning at ten.”

“Why didn’t you inform me?” I was reflecting on a quote, “It is better to have an enemy who slaps you in the face than a friend who stabs you in the back.”

“I thought that you knew about it.”

I knew that she intentionally did not share it with me. If I were present in the interview she would not have been selected as there were only two posts. With 88% marks in my B.Sc. and M.Sc., I was a scholarship holder throughout my study period in the college, with a decent number of published research papers and popular articles in my name. I was on the top of the merit list. There was one more person who had less percentage than me but higher than my friend. My best friend stabbed me just for a short-term job. My dream of becoming a dress designer was shattered on that day. Dane Thomas said, “Those who have walked the path filled with broken promises and shattered dreams are the ones who arise with the strongest wings.”

Earlier this interview had been cancelled many times due to one or the other reason before it happened on that day. I could not go to the college to check the notice board during last week so missed the interview date. I was shocked that even the project holder professor with whom I was writing papers did not inform me. Next day, I met her, and asked about it.

“I thought you must be knowing about it.” She replied in a nonchalant tone.

“You could have called when you found that I was not present among the candidates.”

But her big ego did not allow as she was entrapped in the false pride of a glorious and unique project in her name. Little did she know that, the opposition lobby had plans to sabotage the project using my friend as a pawn. This project was about the computerization of innovative dress designs in which the knowledge of a particular software was required. Still, I requested her to let me in to at least learn that software to which she bluntly refused. I had an inkling that she would repent.

After working for nearly one year my friend left that project in between. The other person in the project refused to work for extra time. I wanted to help her but I could not as I had no knowledge of that particular software. Her reputation was at stake. She worked like a laborer to complete that project. Nearing deadline, she had to work for 18 hours a day to save it from failing. In the meantime, her elder son was murdered in a road rage. She slipped into depression as she was emotionally attached to that son.

On that fateful interview day, I lost the job, I lost my best friend, and I lost my favorite lecturer – all in one go. Though career prospects seemed to vanish, even then I did not shed a tear. Later reflecting on life, I developed a feeling of acceptance of failures because it is just a way of nature to protect me from the unseen mishaps. Abuthaher said, “Acceptance of failure is the first success.” After some years, I joined the business empire of my father breaking the prevalent orthodox trend of girls not doing that business. 

‘मन का हो तो अच्छा, ना हो तो और भी अच्छा' - हरिवंश राय बच्चन

“If something happens according to your wish, it’s good. But if it doesn’t, that’s even better. If it is not happening according to your wish, then it is happening according to some divine force. That divine force will never think ill about you.”- Harivansh Rai Bachchan

Life surprises us all!

Pic : Me in Fashion Designing lab. 

My Emotional Turbulance

‘Massive fire breaks out in ‘X’ factory’.

While flipping the pages of the local newspaper I was shocked to see this news. Last night a fire broke out in the boiler section after a powerful explosion and about 75% of the factory was burnt to ashes. A couple of months back, I visited that factory for Vastushastra Consultancy. I studied everything minutely and told the owner that the plot in the South- West direction of his factory was down by 6 feet which was resulting in his severe financial losses. He asked me for a remedy. I suggested that he could plant trees and creepers and could place some heavy items like stone or metal in that direction. I clearly told him that these remedies would only be effective to some extent as this defect could not be cured till the adjacent plot owner filled his plot with sand which was not possible according to him.

Whether I visited that factory once or twice I could not recall now as it happened near about one and a half decade ago. Due to security reasons, a known needy person accompanied me whenever I visited sites for Vastushastra Consultancy. As this place was far off, I went by car.

The owner was not satisfied with my truthful answers, hence slashed my payment to a considerable amount. I requested him to make my full payment as I had to pay to other persons also. But he was adamant. On that day, just for a few bucks, my mood was spoiled. I told him everything correctly to the best of my knowledge even then he did not pay me the pre decided amount. With a heavy heart I returned home.

Whenever I found myself emotionally disturbed in any deal, soon after that I came to know that the concerned person was trapped in a financial crunch. Whether it is my emotions that cause disturbance in other’ lives or it is nature's way to tell me the unfortunate future of other’s. I try hard to control such emotions, but I do not know how to put a check on them. Now, as a saint, I made several attempts to sort out the things, but I find that the situation worsens.

While doing Avagunthan mudra, I always pray to the lineage in my heart to help me to overcome my negative emotions so that I may not harm anybody. But it is easier to say than to do. Emotions are like ocean waves, they hit, splurge and drench me anytime anywhere. Is it true for one and all? I wonder sometimes.

Pic : Pixabay

Immense Silence in the Cremation Ground

We buried Om!

I liked Om Swamiji's name so much that when I got the chance to name somebody, I named the tender being as ‘Om’. How delighted I was when I picked up this name. I always remembered him while saying the name. His memoirs, his teachings, his knowledge, his values, his principals, his command over so many subjects inspired me to namesake someone along with those good virtues and qualities. Whether all the time I was chanting his name or visualizing the one with the name ‘Om’, it hardly mattered to me. Nevertheless, I was on cloud nine!

“Papa, I will come along with you to the cremation ground.” I insisted as he was sick from a prolonged illness, and I used to accompany him in all the business dealings and other events.

“Females do not go to cremation grounds.” He softly said.

“I am taking care of your business which is a male dominated one. Please allow me.”

When we both were adamant on our points and could not convince each other, I suggested a middle path, “I will accompany you only up to the main gate of the premises.”

“Agreed.” He said, now more softly.

Unaware of the peace pact between me and my father, our driver parked the car inside the premises as there was no parking space outside. As soon as my father got out of the car, he looked towards me and ordered, “Stay here.” I nodded. This was my first visit to a cremation ground. To my surprise there was nobody except the security guard. There were trees planted in a line, shrubs growing in a cluster and some seasonal plants here and there in the beds. Overall, the greenery was breathtaking. The place was so serene and calm, that one yearned to meditate. Some birds were there, not chirping rather mingling with the quietness of the surroundings. Peacocks were standing under the shade or sitting on the green grass without any fear. They too were on silent mode. Not even a single leaf was moving to make any kind of sound or to create any rustle in the peaceful environment. All living beings were still and silent. I had never experienced such a deep silence.  An engulfing silence!

On that day, I was devoid of any emotion of sadness, grief or pain. If there was a little bit emotion somewhere left in me, it was to take care of my father so that he didn't break down. I saw my father coming back after performing the rituals. I looked towards his face. His face was calm. There was no grief, no disturbance, no sorrow, no agitation rather an immense peace. As if he was taking along some peace strings from the serenity of the environment with him and leaving behind the sadness of the sorrowful past. In my heart, I knew that he was going through one of the toughest phases of his life but not a single tear came out of his eyes. Silently, I admired how strong he was!

While returning home, I was chanting 'Om' without visualizing 'buried Om'. After all we all are mortal beings! 

Pic : Pexels