Story of a confident guy

Part 1
“There is a huge beehive on the neem tree. I am an expert in collecting honey from beehives. If you permit me I can collect.”
“You can come in the evening to do that.” I replied.
“I am skilled to do that even at noon hours. Actually ma’am I know a mantra which I chant and after that all the bees will leave this place and will go to some other place. I will collect the honey from the vacant beehive.”
“It is dangerous to do it at daytime. Better come at the dusk.”
“I am prepared with my long stick, on which kerosene dipped rugs have been tied. I will set fire to scare the worker bees to grasp the queen bee. I am ready with my bucket to collect honey.” He showed his blue colored bucket to me.
“I have to go to attend a meeting at some other site.”
“When you will return then you can see my expertise skills, ma’am.”

Part 2
Three hours later when I returned, I found the stick with burnt rugs on one edge lying on the ground. I looked up and beehive was still there and the same blue colored bucket which was in the hands of confident guy was now on the top branch of neem tree.

Do you think he forgot the mantra or lost his confidence in front of thousands of stings?

Lost my book

“Return my favourite book if you have read it.” I said to my friend.
“A day before yesterday, I took it with me on my Mumbai trip so that in the journey I could read it. On my returning flight after complete reading, I placed it in the pocket of the front seat. I forgot to take it out. Sorry yaar.”

Should I scold him for misplacing my favourite book or should I be happy as someone else will be reading that book?

A man covering his face

In a marriage party, dance floor was full with the young persons doing sexy moves. The gathering was enjoying the high pitch music with fast dance movements. I saw near about eighty year old man sitting in the front row covering his face with his left hand. To my utmost surprise his eyes were peeping to observe those dance steps by young female members of his family.

Was he feeling ashamed or elated to observe such dance moves?

Kartiki missing!

When Kartiki was twenty eight days old, she entered my room while I was busy in completing my project report.

Near about half an hour passed and I couldn’t see or hear anything from her side which worried me. I searched her under my bed, behind the furniture and below the settees. I couldn’t find her.

By chance she went out of my room while I was absorbed in my work therefore I searched her in each and every corner of the house. And I couldn’t find her. I decided to do my remaining home work. My school bag was horizontally placed along the wall. I opened its flap and found her sleeping over my books.

She is no more. This is 300th post dedicated to her.

Dangerous woman!

“On Sunday night, we had a drinking competition.” Miss ‘G’ told me. “For a foreign delegate Mr. ‘P’ a party was organised, all senior personnel were present even Managing Director of our company. Mr. ‘P’ holds some excellent offers of sale for our company hence an important person who was to be served well. Mr. ‘P’ boasted in the party that he could drink much. Nobody could beat him as his drinking capacity was of very superior class. My boss looked at me and said, “Take good care of him. Will you?” I nodded.”

“The party began with five shots, followed by three bottom ups. After that we all had to drink a glass full of wine. You know Chandrika, when vodka is mixed with wine in stomach then results can be …… So I didn’t take it rather plainly lied that that this glass of wine was not mine rather someone else. I had already finished mine. Uncountable bottles of beer were consumed by me and Mr. ‘P’ as we were the last two contestants.”

“Next morning, I reached my office on time and Mr. ‘P’ was still having hang over and couldn’t wake up till afternoon. When he returned back in this world, his first response was to know about me. It was revealed to him that I was in my office, working. He could only utter, “Dangerous Woman, she is!!!” ”

Do you think she is a dangerous woman or smart woman?

Sheila ki jawani

“What is your name?” I asked a preschooler boy.
“My name is Sheila.” He replied confidently

Should the songs like Sheila ki jawani be banned for children or should be taught like nursery rhymes as they are easy to remember than one’s own name? ;)

Ambulance on wrong side!

I had to put the harsh brakes as all of a sudden an ambulance ringing siren came in front of my car from the wrong side. Instead of going on left road of the highway it ran on the right side to avoid traffic jam on that side. I gave way to the ambulance so that someone's life could be saved. The fast speed of ambulance on the wrong side was totally unpredictable for the motorcycle on the same side of the road. They collided.

To save one’s life, one can break rules or one can not put life of other’s at risk?

Blogger Vs. begger

On my blog, I am merely 2 hits away from 1000 hits which means 2 cents away from making one dollar from my writings. Folks, click the button to increase the money. :) A blogger wrote.

Is there any difference between blogger and begger?

Mr. Vs. Ms.

Mr. : Let's go back to Stone Age. Life, free of tensions and full of enjoyment. A carefree life!
Ms. : Unsuccessful persons think about going back to Stone Age, successful persons think about twenty-secondth century or beyond.

Do you agree with Mr. or Ms.?

You are our celebrity!

“The advertisement of the product should have a celebrity so that it can gain more attention from common persons. The present advertisement of the product only have simple girl in blue dress.” A dealer complained to the general manager of the company.
“If you remember the advertisement then the purpose is solved.” The general manager replied.
“I have to sell the product so I remember it day and night, not forgetting it for a second. The need of celebrity was for common persons who are our buyers.”
“Our company do not believe in the concept of celebrities. Moreover our company firmly believe that you are our celebrity as you give business to our company by selling the product.”

Do you think general manager is too polite to consider a dealer as a celebrity or too smart to divert the flow of thoughts?

Dog in the lift

I saw that lift was coming down from the fifteenth floor. I waited for it as I was standing on the ground floor. The door opened and a street dog ran out of it.

Do you think it is a smart dog that can operate lift buttons or somebody presses the buttons for the poor creature so that it can land safely on ground?

Bunch of keys

“Oh Sh*t! SH*T!!” Mr. ‘H’ uttered on seeing his breeze blue car keys falling in the space between the lift and the floor. He lost his grip on the keys. He made an effort to grab them again but failed.
“Don’t worry you must be having a duplicate key.” I soothed him.
“Chandrika, The key ring not only have my car keys but also my office main door key, cupboard keys, safe key and my bank locker key.” He whispered in my ears.
“Oho!”
“And on the key ring it is written ‘I have never lost my keys.’” He said this in his normal pitch.

Does Mr. ‘H’ lose his key ring ‘I have never lost my keys’ forever or no?

Breeze blue

“My dad gifts me a brand new car. Its color is breeze blue neither too dark nor too light rather pleasing blue. It is the most soothing blue I have ever seen in my life.” Mr. ‘H’ described while we were going towards the parking area. “My car is just behind this big black vehicle.”

Before I could have a glimpse of that sexy breeze blue, the lights went out. In the complete darkness my loud laugh could be heard.

Mr. ‘H’ took a few steps towards car while pressing the buttons of his mobile. He bought it near the car door and asked “How is the color?”

What should I say that in dim light I can’t see the color or in dim light breeze blue is hell lovable?

A midnight call

I woke up from sleep to attend the call on my mobile from Mr. ‘H’. “What happened? Why do you call me at this hour?” I said irritatedly. The disturbed sleep gave me a slight headache.
“I want you to be the first person to wish me as I was born on this day some years back.” He said excitedly as well as lovingly.
I looked at the watch in mobile which was showing 12:01 am.

Do you think should I scold him for calling at this hour and disturbing my sleep or should I sweetly wish him ‘Happy B’day’?

My body age

“Your body age is thirty six years.” A doctor told me.
“OMG! It is more than my chronological age! I do regular exercise, avoid fried foods and eat lots of fruits. Even then!” I said.

What should I do to minimise my body age? Any suggestions.

My style of writing

“Do you think I should write like Chetan Bhagat to become popular?” I asked one of my good friends.
“Do not copy anybody’s style of writing rather create your own style of writing.” He suggested me.

So I tried to create my style of writing; short, crisp with a mark of interrogation at the end. I will like to thank Tomz who referred to my style of writing in his recent post.

Do you think it is distinct style or should I improve it to a more unique one?

Trash on the road

A shopkeeper threw the empty cardboard container on the road. Before I could utter something he took the last sip of tea from the kulahad, a disposable mud cup without handle and also threw it on the road.

Should I pick up the empty container and kulahad from the road and threw them back in his shop or should I ask him politely not to throw trash on the road?

All possible combinations

Mago is my pen name, very simple and close to my real name, Ma...... Go....... . No sophisticated alias for me.
A blogger from Germany told me when I asked about whether he wrote with his pen name or real name.

I tried all the possible combinations with German masculine names beginning with ‘Ma’ and surname beginning with ‘Go’. Do you think I will hit the correct name that suits his profession and personality or I am wasting my time?

Expression of anger

“Are you angry with me?” Somebody asked me.

Should I say “Yes, I am angry with you” or should I remain silent and express my anger silently?

Isn’t it pretty?

“First come with me.” The kid said to me as I entered their house.
“Hello, dear.”
“Hello. There is something new. I want to show you. It is in the kitchen.” He was too excited.
I followed him towards the kitchen.
“See, as I open the cupboard, new dustbin of white in color of penguin shape comes out. The black lid on its mouth opens automatically and as I close the cupboard the lid gets closed to avoid any fowl smell coming out and doesn’t allow the breeding of small insects. When it is filled it can be taken out to empty it in the big dustbin of the society.” He demonstrated the functioning of the new dustbin. With little twinkling eyes he asked me. “Isn’t it pretty?”

Whose mistake?

“Open the door! Open it! OPEN!!” A young newly wed woman was screaming and thudding the wooden door. Neighbours and passer bys gathered to make out what the matter was.

With tears in her eyes, she told “My husband threw me outside the house and locked the door. On my repeated requests and demands he is not opening the door.”

Do you think whose mistake is this; husband’s who locked the door or wife’s who created a scene?

Moving horns of a herbivorous

“In my village, I have a cow brown in color. It gives 5-7 liters of milk per day and have moving horns.” An elderly woman told me.

Have you ever seen any herbivorous with moving horns or no?

Page No. 52

It's probably past the national book week now but I always love playing this game on facebook. The rules are, grab the closest book to you, turn to page 52, post the 5th sentence as your status. Don't mention the title. Copy the rules as part of your status.

To play this game, I picked up a library book and turned pages. The page no. 51-52 were missing and 53-54 were twice.

Now what should I do?

Little cat

“Meow! Meow!!” The kid tried to chat with the little cat. It got up, jumped on the ground and came near him, rubbing her body against his legs.
“It is showing affection to me.” The kid happily told me. He became busy with it.
I buried myself into the book which I was reading.

A few minutes later, the kid came running from a passage where he went while playing. “It raised its tail showing her anger as I went near her three kittens that lived in the box behind the stairs in the passage. Thats why I ran away from there. Two kittens are exactly like her and the other one is pure black like their papa.”

“Do you meet their papa also?” I stopped reading and asked.

“No.” He looked at his new digital wrist watch and said “It is 10.48am. Papa must have gone to work and will return in the evening. Moreover, if the color of kitten does not match with mother then it must be of father’s.”

“It can possibly be their grandparent’s color.”

Do you think it is the right time to teach him Mendel’s Law or should wait for some more years?

Mantra of happy living

“Do not think too much. Avoid brooding. Let the things happen as they are happening. This is the simplest mantra of happy living.” A saint said.

Do you agree or disagree?

A strange dream

A strange dream is haunting me from the past few days. In the dream I saw myself going in a lift, its door opened at tenth floor and to my surprise my ex boyfriend entered the lift. Doors closed and lift moved down. Tremors were felt. Lights went out. Lift fell down in uncontrollable speed. Violent and unpleasant noises of free falling of heavy objects could be heard. With a force lift hit something hard below. The dust, pieces of bricks and cement fell in one corner of the lift. It was good as I could see a hole above created by a pillar. He was pressing all the possible options of his mobile while I was throwing my dupatta from the crack above so that it might get entangled somewhere. Repeated efforts of mine bring the desired results and I climbed out of that lift holding that dupatta. Meanwhile I could hear the signals of low battery again and again from his mobile till it created a dark void.

He stepped forward to hold the dupatta, I freed it to fall it on the ground of lift. I brought the stones to cover the hole. “Same you will feel now as I have felt when you stopped talking to me, stopped all modes of communications; an engulfing silence and even more engulfing darkness!” I forgot the pain of scratches of all sizes on my body made by the sharp ridges of hole as my heart was filled with immense pleasure of making him suffer.

When I am kind hearted person how even in my dream can I be so cruel?

Writing a post

When I feel low I write a post on my blog which makes me emotionally strong.

Do you feel the same or differ?

It is an art!

“I dry the clothes on strings in a particular manner. All the towels in one line, all the suits in one line, all the socks in one line! There is always a symmetry and rhythm in which I dry clothes. You know, Chandrika it is an art!” Mrs.‘I’ told me.

Do you agree or disagree with her that drying clothes on strings is an art?

End of the movie!

“End of the movie!” A little kid spoke so loud in the theatre hall that it was audible to me with four rows of seats in between. He uttered these words as the screen became black for a few seconds between the advertisements during the interval.

End of the blog. ;) Popcorns and coke time! :) This is 275th post. :)

Wrong side, RIGHT!

On critical examination of my suit, I realised that I must discard it from my wardrobe as the chikankari embroidery had frayed as well as the orange color print had faded. I was sitting in waiting lounge hence a little bit free to think about such things.

My dupatta flipped from the gust of air from the ceiling fan as someone who just entered the lounge switch it on. I noticed that I have draped it from wrong side, uneven threads were clearly visible. I rectified my mistake. To my surprise, the suit was stitched with wrong side of embroidery on right side of the suit as poorly and roughly finished ends of threads have lose ends on the right side.

I did my Masters in Clothing and Textiles and my thesis work was on creating innovative designs of embroidery on woman’s garments like saree, suit, gown, lengha etc.

Do you think it’s my life’s biggest mistake or there are still more chances that I can make sillier mistakes?

Photo (Top) : Wrong side of embroidery
Photo (Below) : Right side of embroidery

Starring without blinking!

Filling the form, I looked up and noticed that instead of looking at his computer; Mr. ‘H’ was starring me. I forwarded the paper towards him but he was continuously staring me without blinking. His gaze was absolutely fixed on me.

Should I ask him to blink otherwise he will spoil his eyes or should I allow him to stare me forever and ever without blinking?

Potato chips

He opened the sachet of potato chips. He nibbled; she cried more.

Is it veg or non veg?

My novel

Guys, I am working on a novel. It is mere a collection of my weird thoughts. I am hell confused what should be the end of my novel.

Should it be normal happy ending or some unique ending but not a happy one?

Stomach ache

“Hello doc, I am having severe stomach ache. What should I eat?” Mr. ‘K’ said.

Suppose if you are doctor what will you advise Mr. ‘K’?

Bicycle ride

One of my friends who was presently residing in Europe wrote on a social networking site as :
Going on bicycle ride in 'NEW' forest.

I commented :
Hope you meet ‘TIGER’ there. ;)

In your opinion Tiger here refers to ‘man’ or ‘animal’?

Butt

I saw jhankis (a procession in which group of persons played roles mostly depicting stories from epics) of Lord Ram, Lord Shiva, Lord Krishna and Hanuman. In one jhanki, I noticed that an elderly man portrait a saint. He was wearing white robe and had a long white beard. His legs were gently soothed with light pressure by two youngsters. To my surprise he was smoking a butt.

At this time he should smoke or should control his temptation?

Curtain painted by me

“You made curtain out of the bed cover you were painting yester week.” Seeing the curtain in my drawing room Mrs. ‘T’ commented.
“Ya, I changed my mind to utilise this piece of cloth as curtain, to give a different look.” I replied.
“Two bunches of flowers on left and right, one in centre top and bottom is blank. You must paint the replica of flowers at the bottom middle also. It will give curtain a better look.”

Should I repeat the design one more time at bottom as there is too much space or should I not repeat the motif as it will look ‘Over’?

A saying

Yesterday, I read a saying ‘What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger’.

Do you agree or disagree with this saying?

Mango shake

“I have prepared mango shake for you, Chandrika.” Mrs. ‘J’ handed over the glass filled with mango shake to me.
“Any mango product is a slow poison for you.” Some days back my doctor had advised.

Should I drink it as she has prepared with love and care or should I not as doctor has advised me not to take any mango product?

A rat in the trap

“Take this trap away and allow this rat to move out of the trap wherever there is open space.” I asked a nine year old kid.
“Should I leave it inside or outside the housing society complex?” He asked innocently blinking his eyes.

Mongoose crossing a busy road

After hesitating a bit a mongoose began to cross one of the busiest roads of Gurgaon. A car and a truck were coming on the same road with full speed. Mongoose ran to cross. The car stopped harshly to save it whereas the truck came closer.

Will it be able to cross the road or not? Fingers crossed.

Shaving

I saw a young guy shaving beard of another man sitting in a Maruti 800 car, parked in front of a multi-storey building in Gurgaon. The two of them were sitting at the back seat and third person was watching them in rear mirror sitting on the front seat.

Was it a mobile barber shop or something else?

Assji

Mr. ‘L’ : I am ass. I am the biggest ass in this world.
Mr. ‘B’ : Nice to meet u, ASSji. ;) I am first time meeting an ass virtually. :)

Assji is abuse or honor?

Romance on the road

I saw a couple in shabby cloths, caressing and kissing each other in the middle of the road which resulted in bumper to bumper traffic jam.

Such scenes on roads are irritating or romantic?

Precious water

“I installed a waterfall and rain shower in my bathroom.” A rich middle aged man proudly told.
“You will be wasting so much water.” A college going guy commented.
“It is soothing and enjoying.” Rich man tried to justify.

Is it enjoying or wastage of precious water?

A street dog

I gave some bits of chapatti to a street dog that lived outside a posh colony of Gurgaon. He sniffed them and looked towards me as if asking “What is this?”
“Poch poch. Eat it. Eat it.” I said.
“Tuli doesn’t eat chapatti. He only eats spicy, fried and baked food.” A person observing this told me.

Tomorrow what should I give him; Domino’s pizza or McDonald’s burger? ;-)

Die soon

“Till I am on this seat drink daily and enjoy life. If you need money for drinking you can take it from me.” A boss encouraged the peon who was drunk during the office hours.
As he went away the boss said “It is good if he drinks daily, he will die soon. Roog katega.” Saying this, boss lit the cigarette.

What does boss think that drinking daily will decrease ones life span and smoking will not or if peon is enjoying in office hours why not he?

Love Vs. Sacrifice

"I want my ex girl friend to be happy wherever she is!" A guy wrote this somewhere.

Do you think this is love or sacrifice?

A goat in shopping mall!

A white coloured goat with black patches entered the shopping mall while security guard was dozing off. It took a few hesitant steps in the corridor. Seeing nobody to object it walked confidently towards a particular rack in the closest shop.

Any guesses what it wished to buy? ;-)

Oil painting by me

“You should varnish and cover it with cellophane sheet. It will protect it from dust and dirt.” Mrs. ‘L’ suggested me on seeing this oil painting by me.

What do you think should I accept her suggestions or keep it in its natural form?