Sunday, October 29, 2017

Vodafone – Super city campaign

“What happened, dear sister? Why are you sitting alone? Is there something that is troubling you?” My little cousin asked.

“I want to make Delhi a better city, a smart city” I replied.

“From tomorrow onwards, you should go to your office on cycle rather on car. There will be less air pollution which will make Delhi a better place to live.” He laughed aloud on his stupid joke.

“It is not funny. And it not that simple.”

“Sis, I can suggest you some of the positive ways to improve the city after all it is our city.”  

“Hotspot, you are so sweet.”

“You know sis, Vodafone has already done a lot to improve Delhi and NCR! Vodafone has created the first air purifying bus shelter in the city so that we can breathe in pollution free air while waiting for bus. Vodafone has also created the first Wifi bus shelter in Gurgaon. It provides free Wifi to all customers for 20 minutes. A milestone in digitizing Delhi and NCR!”

“Vodafone is digitally connecting Delhi and NCR by providing free Wifi zones like Airport, Khan Market, Delhi Haat, DLF Mall of India, Fortis Hospital etc.”

“All over Delhi and NCR, Vodafone provides free Wifi at 120 places. Vodafone receives one customer appreciation every 30 seconds.”

“There are 1.2 crore Vodafone customers in Delhi and NCR which means half of Delhities are using Vodafone. Vodafone is #CelebratingSuper.”

“Let us make Vodafone choice of everybody in Delhi and NCR. I will suggest you some ideas that whole Delhi and NCR will be talking about VODAFONE only and none other mobile networking company.”

“How is that possible?”

“Sis, you are giving a big responsibility to a little child.” He winked and continued. “Vodafone should target students as they can be Vodafone permanent future customers.”

“You mean to say both school and college students.”

He nodded in a style and said, “Mobile library is the easy, quick and fast way to do that.”

“Mobile library, a moving vehicle with has books on varied topics which stop at different places so that poor and underprivileged children can be benefitted from it.”

“My idea is that mobile library will have no books, no books at all. But it will have free Wifi access for everyone. There can be some trained staff to encourage school and college students to use Wifi to study more and to learn more. The students should be motivated to utilise information in making projects, in solving their problems related to Maths, Physics and other subjects. They should be encouraged to get the detailed information about the topics they like to read and to talk about more. All information should be just at the click of a button.”

“If they click the button leading to wrong or dirty information then....... I mean..... you know.....”

“Such sites can be blocked.” I was hesitant and he was confident.

“Free Wifi will help them in becoming more learned and responsible citizens.”

“On using free Wifi, they will know the importance of Vodafone Wifi, how useful and beneficial it is for them. Then they will shift to paid services of Vodafone which means more customers for Vodafone.”

“My little business expert!”

“Vodafone sign boards should be made on metro pillars by doing vertical gardening on them. It will give clean air to us and more customers to Vodafone! The walls of huge concrete buildings can be covered with vertical gardening. On huge roofs, roof top gardening can be planned in such a way that an aerial view as seen on Google maps imprints ‘Vodafone’.

“Vodafone is doing a great job but what we can do as residents to make our city better.”

“As a kid, I can make a drawing of smart city.”

“God has blessed you with a beautiful hand and mind.”

“My parents motivate the people residing in our society to use two-bin segregation system for garbage. Segregation is the first step of waste management. Green dustbins are for disposing of wet waste which includes waste from fruits and vegetables, cooked or uncooked food, leaves etc. and blue dustbins are for disposing dry waste which includes paper, metal, plastic products etc. It helps in segregating waste as they recycled differently. Wet waste is organic whereas dry is not. Segregated recycling helps in cleaning the environment quickly.”

“You know a lot about garbage management.”

“I learnt this on a Youtube video which I watch using free Wifi at Delhi Airport while waiting for my flight to my grandparent’s home.”

“Free Wifi zones will make people more intelligent and aware.”

“For that, metro stations and railway platforms should be free Wifi zones and all passengers should be given free Vodafone oxygen bombs.”

“Aloe vera growing in a plastic vessel with Vodafone printed on it. The plant requires least maintenance as it can grow well in less water and plenty of sunlight. It grows well in Delhi weather. It can be used as an ayurvedic medicine for stomach and face.”

“Nah! They should give tomato plants, as the plants will bear red tomatoes, similar in color to Vodafone logo. Organic tomatoes will give fresh air and fruits to Delhites.” He plucked a ripe tomato from the plant growing in the pot on the windowsill of the room and gulped it down.

“Have you ever done anything to make Delhi and NCR a better city to live?”

 “Last Sunday we went to a nearby slum area, it was stinking as garbage was scattered everywhere. If Vodafone, starts a new scheme that no garbage zone will be free Wifi zones then India will become garbage free overnight.” He smiled.

“What if after getting the facility they again start polluting their surroundings.”

“Garbage free, neat and clean colonies can be made free Wifi zones for specific period. If they maintain the same level of cleanliness, then the facility can be extended, else withdrawn. Persons residing in other colonies and societies will be motivated to make their surrounding garbage free.

“Garbage free India will encourage more foreigners to visit India. They will give more business to Vodafone while calling back home or while using internet to search decent site seeing or a nice restaurant nearby or while booking a cab or while making payments.”

In my Diwali vacations, we went to a nearby village to educate farmers how to improve their farming knowledge by teaching them how to watch Youtube videos on the topics related to them. I showed them videos on how to prepare gobar gas plant, how to use solar light to run tube-wells, how to generate electricity from wind, how to make rain harvesting pits, how to use battery operated vehicles, how to do organic farming, how to make vermicompost and how to make more money. I didn’t teach them how to count more money.” He giggled.

“How was the sewage system in the village?”

“My father taught them how to prepare low cost disposable sewage systems and told them about the links from where they can gather more information about it.”

“Vodafone help start-ups during their incubation stage by giving them Vodafone products.” I told.

“They can give free Wifi for those who use toilets with closed doors.” There was naughtiness in his voice as well as in his eyes.


 “Why do you call me Hotspot?”

“Because I can access information from you free of cost any time with just a click.” I lightly touch the tip of his nose with my index finger.

“I tell you a secret that I didn’t like to eat spinach but now I have started eating spinach like Popeye as I grow organic spinach in PVC pipes in my balcony.”

“Let us make a video to share this information with family, neighbours and friends.”

“Excellent idea!”

“I am unable to upload my video.”

“Sis, first of all you shift to Vodafone leaving X, Y, Z companies behind!” He said with a laugh.

Worst optical illusion

I was driving my car on NH-8 and was struck in a traffic jam near Bilaspur. On both the sides of my car, there were huge trucks. There was some space created in the front. I moved my car slowly forward and felt I am going backward. I put a harsh brake not understanding why my car is going behind and I might not hit someone behind. I was confused. Bewildered me, took two deep breaths to calm myself and to analyse what had happened. My car was in the right gear to move forward even then I was moving backward. I realised that I had a worst optical illusion because of huge trucks on both sides of my car.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Sell in 60 seconds

“Sis, why don’t you sell your 5 year old mobile?” Pixel, my little brother asked me.

 “This mobile is in good condition, working and does not have scratches.”

“Buy a new, latest model mobile with more features.”

“Pixel, I don’t have enough funds to buy a new one.”

“Sell this to generate funds.”

“I tried to sell it to many. None of them is interested in buying such an old model of mobile.”

“You didn’t try to sell it to me, otherwise I would have bought it.” He said with a wink.

“What would you do with this?” I asked curiously.

“Thats a secret. By the way, to whom you try to sell it?”

“Once I tried to sell it to my driver. The deal was finalised. I handed over the mobile phone, charger, its box, bill and ear phones to him. He gave half of the decided money. He asked to use it for one day and then pay the rest of the money next day. I agreed. Next day, he returned the mobile and all the accessories. I returned the money. He asked for the rest of the half money. I told him that he didn’t gave them to me. He laughed and said that he was not asking for  the money that he hadn’t paid but he was asking for the money spent on taking care for this oldie goldie mobile. It was real tough job to take care of 5 year old mobile for 24 hours. After that I never tried to sell it.”

“Have you tried to sell it online?”

“Without seeing, using and checking it, who will buy it online?”

Cashify is an online site which gives you the best value for mobiles, laptop, tablet, T.V. and Imac. To sell on Cashify is simple, easy and fast. I am sharing Cashify app with you. Sis, download it on your mobile.”

While I was downloading the app he told me, “I shared the cashify app along with my unique code with my friends and relatives. Everytime any of them transacted, I got paid. You would not believe that I earned Rs. 150150 till now. That means I can buy a new tablet with the earned money.”

“Pixel, you are genius. You not only solved my problem but also you are making money with that. That’s great!”

“I am, no doubt!” He giggled. “Now fill in the simple details about mobile like mobile switch on and off, discolouration issues, display or touchpad issues, screen glass condition, front camera and back camera not working or broken, any defect in volume button, Wifi/ GPS button not working, any problem in power/ Home button, delayed charging or other defects, battery faulty and speaker not working etc.”

I clicked on the relevant information related to my mobile.

He instructed further, now, it will ask about the original charger, earphone, box and bill.”

“Ya. I have all.”

“You will get a decent price for that.”

“My device is too old and it is not under warranty.”

“For nice deal tell the truth, don’t lie and don’t hide anything.”

“Fine, my little teacher! How can I correctly decide about the phone’s overall condition?”

“Sis, if it has minor scratches, normal signs of usage, external housing intact, no broken port, no dents or cracks on panel then it’s overall condition is good. If scratches or dents on panel, discolouration of panel, external housing intact, minor cracks then its overall condition is average and if multiple dents or scratches and back or front panel broken then overall condition is below average.”

“Overall condition of my mobile is good.”

“Can you guess the price of your mobile?”

Looking at the screen, I almost screamed, “Wow! Amazing!! The price displayed is much higher than the price at which I was selling it to my driver six months before.”

“Sis, apply the coupon code. Get more offers with this coupon at Amazon 5% extra, at Lifestyle 9% extra and at Mantra 15% extra.”

“Pixel! I love you. Now I can buy a new mobile just because of you. The money I was short of to buy a new mobile is now enough.”

“Sis, Sell the used gadgets before your house become a museum or junkyard of old devices. You can also sell your 30 years old T.V. online. Cashify will ask about the brand, size, screen, sound, remote, age and physical condition of T.V. It will pay a decent sum of money at the time of pick up in cash or the mode of payment you have opted.”

“I admire the idea of getting your device priced, scheduling a free pick up, getting paid instantly. I will recommend #CleanUpCashOut to my friends, relatives and neighbours.”

“Sis, let us make a video about it to show it to our friends.”


Dear readers, Do not forget to add the coupon code CLEANCASH to avail an additional Rs.250 on the sale of your gadgets on Cashify.

DARK Diwali

This Diwali, I did not celebrate the festival of lights as my father had expired just a few months back. All houses were decorated with vibrant lights, attractive rangoli and colourful hangings. They were filled with sounds of laughter and enjoyment. It was only my house, which was DARK. Seeing others houses illuminating and mine in darkness I recalled an incidence that my maternal grandfather shared with me, “When I was five years old, my father died on Diwali night. We didn’t celebrated Diwali for forty years. All houses were illuminated except ours. Every house had beautiful lights, eye-catching decorations and enjoyable celebrations apart from ours. As a child it was painful to accept that darkness, sadness and loneliness. Amidst financial problems we faced because of sudden death of my father, the most disturbing was not to celebrate the festival of lights for years and years. It is a custom if somebody dies on Diwali then Diwali is not celebrated in the family until somebody is born in the family. After forty years my niece was born. All the neighbours came and coaxed us to celebrate Diwali as Godess Lakhmi had appeared herself. Thereafter, we started celebrating Diwali.”

When he was on his deathbed, he used to pray, “O God! I do not want to die on Diwali. I do not want to spoil the festival of my family. Please select some other day for me to leave this body.” And God listened to him. 

I thought that only this year I didn’t celebrate Diwali but he didn’t celebrate Diwali for forty years though the reason was the same - death of father.

Friday, October 13, 2017

A bottle of Coke

Diwali Mela like any other fair was organised in my society with lots of stalls of food, household items, costumes, jewellery and other utility items with dance programme admist loud music and spectral lights. I hardly got any time for such celebrations. On my best friend’s request, I spared my time for this fair.

We are foodies, so attacked the food first. Tried lots of spicy as well as sweet dishes like jodhpuri mirchi pakooda, bhalla chat, tikki chat, blue berry muffin, chole bhature and pan kulfi. These days, my tummy is not used to eating such a spicy food. To digest all these stuff, I need a bottle of Coke!

While drinking it, my mind recalled a year back incidence. It was the convocation day of Sadhana Intensive Course that was organised at Gangotri in Sivananda Kutir. After attending convocation, we returned to Gangotri town, near the taxi stand. We were waiting for the other batchmates to come back to the meeting point. I was feeling hungry as I hadn’t eaten anything since morning and whatever little I had eaten came out because of sever travel sickness and vomiting. During lunch, I handed over my food to Mr. ‘G’ one of my batchmates.

I group of friends ordered samosas, tea and soft drinks. The samosas were too spicy. To digest them I was drinking Coke. Suddenly Mr. ‘G’ came and joined the group and discussion. I took a sip of Coke.

“You are drinking Coke! You are eating samosas!!” The utter surprise in his voice showed that I made a serious offence.

Mr. ‘G’ raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth. His eyes widened and his pupils even more. Little horizontal frowns appeared displacing bigger vertical frowns. His bulged eyes forgot to blink atleast for fifty two seconds. Atleast. He freezed. I laughed.

“It is just a bottle of Coke!” I said. “Anybody can read your face like a book!! ANYBODY!!!”

That transparent face, I always recalled whenever I had a bottle of Coke!

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Height of fusion music

“Today we are going to celebrate ‘Dandiya Night’.” The anchor announced. I heard it while sitting on a sofa in the drawing room of my friends flat. The programme started well with a Gujarati song. Then they played a Haryanavi song ‘Mera nau dandi ka bhijana’. I was bit bewildered as how one can do dandiya on Harayanvi song. My confusion increased as the next song they played was Punjabi. May be they are trying fusion music on Dandiya Night! One after another, they played the songs of different states of India.

In the last, they played ‘Haat ja tau pache ne!’

I must say this is height of fusion music! ;)