Double Guru - The Secret Behind Initiation

How did Om Swamiji come to know about the secret that I shared only with my deity?

I searched the solution for this question in various books and on several internet sites for not only days, weeks but for several months. But I could not find an answer.

Some days back while chanting ‘Om Gum Gurve Namah’ on Sadhana App I visualized that I was touching His Padam Feet and requesting Him to reveal the secret to me. I prayed and prayed fervently. The next day, while surfing I landed on a site that revealed the truth behind the secret.

While initiating, He placed an image or copy of Himself inside me. An Inner Guru who always lived with me, knew everything about me, was well aware of my each and every thought, perceived all my sorrows and pains, recognized my penance, sensed my tears n smiles, noticed my hard life and was witness of all that I did in my life. Actually, Inner Guru was always with me but I did not realize it. Swami Satyananda Saraswati said, “The inner guru has to be exploded with the help of the outer guru. The inner guru should be approached by means of the outer guru.”

The Outer Guru how far He might live could scan my Inner Guru randomly at any time and could know everything about me. The Outer Guru could then guide me through my Inner Guru accordingly so that the thorns and obstacles from my spiritual path are removed and I could walk the spiritual journey persistently and effortlessly. If by chance an emergency came, then Inner Guru would inform Outer Guru about it and then He could send an immediately relief in the form of his golden advice.

In the book, ‘Light on the Guru and Disciple Relationship’ Swami Satyasangananda Saraswati said, “It is important to develop a link with your inner guru, which is the center you have been searching for. All the happiness, joy, pleasures you crave in the external world are only illusions in contrast to the infinite bliss that is contained within your inner guru.” As you all know that initiation is a seven steps process. First step is like drawing an outline of the image of Inner Guru and mapping out the general shape. In second step, improving of angles into smaller and more specific segments is sketched. Drawing features, aligning them horizontally as well as vertically, and checking the angles between different features are done at the third stage. Refining the contour is the fourth action. At fifth level, shading the soft layers carefully to achieve the maximum detail and impact is planned. Appropriate hues and shades of color are filled to create a live image is the sixth step. At the last step, the final touch is given so that it appears naturally soft and its elegance is captured. I am at level five and now I have to fill natural colors in it.:) I have drawn my Inner Guru in traditional way with crayons on paper but you can draw it with the help of modern technology in Adobe Photoshop, CorelDraw, DrawPlus or Clip Studio Paint. ;)

The connectivity with the Inner Guru and Outer Guru can be developed slowly and gradually by satsang, by kirtan, by remembering God, by serving, by chanting, by speaking the truth and by being kind in action, words and thoughts.

According to Swami Satyasangananda Saraswati, “As you develop the ties with the living guru, your contact with the inner guru becomes clearer, more vivid and tangible. And, in this way, the guru tattwa (Inner Guru) begins to manifest.”

Dear blogger family, let us sketch our inner guru more elegantly and jump to the next level of initiation together! :)

Pic : Pixabay

Kindness Towards an Invertebrate

“This is how an invertebrate struggle if it falls off and ends up on its back!” My mother pointed towards a beetle on a grass ground that was continuously moving its legs in air to get up. “Life is really hard for an insect as it does not have a backbone like us which helps us in turning over when we fall. It is very painful for all invertebrates. Therefore, with the help of a leaf we must help it in rolling so that it can stand on its legs and live a normal life again otherwise it will die fighting for its survival.” In the beautiful garden full of seasonal flowers like calendula, dog flower, sweet pea, nasturtium, petunia, dianthus, hollyhock and marigold, which attracted lots of beetles and other insects this site, was not uncommon. My mother not only explained the characteristics of vertebrates and invertebrates but also taught me a life lesson of kindness towards other living beings when I was in middle school.

After that, it became my habit to turn over the insect on its legs if I ever saw it struggling for its life. With the result, many a times in difficult situations in my life when I found that all doors were closed, Nature would send an unexpected help to protect me. Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted.”

It had never happened before. As soon as I turned the black tiny insect back on its legs, it would take a few steps and then fall off again on its back. It happened numerous times. This time, I tried to be kinder than necessary. I gently turned it, supporting it continuously but again it fell off on its back. This incidence happened a few days back, I was in my prayer room doing my regular chanting when I noticed a tiny black insect struggling. I continued my chanting mentally while trying to help it. I did not know whether its leg was broken or injured, as I was not wearing my specs at that time. Although I concluded that, the slippery floor of tiles was the main cause of its frequent fall. I interpreted that it could walk on a rough surface. Raktivist quoted, “Kindness is doing what you can, where you are, with what you have”. I placed a round cotton wick on it, pressed it gently, turned it around and placed it on the floor. It was slowly moving on that wick. It did not fall again but keep moving round and round on it. Aha! It was doing salsa on the beats of joy! :)

Leaving it there, I went to my office, as I did not know what it ate otherwise, I would have served a delicious breakfast to it. ;) In the evening when I returned, I found that there was only wick; there was neither insect nor its dead body. I assumed that it must have learnt to move with practice and must be living a healthy and good life with its kith and kin.

Little things make big days!

Pic - Pexels

My Tiny Effort to Keep the Traditional Craft Alive

“STOP THE CAR!”

On seeing a shabby man holding many miniature rainbows on the roadside, I ordered my driver. Before he could react, I explained that I wanted to buy colorful pinwheel wind collector from a street vendor. The driver stopped the car near him and gestured him to come close to the window. I rolled down my window glass and asked him to show one pinwheel. He delicately gave me one.

“What is the price?” I asked.

“Only Rs. 10/-.” He replied in a low tone.

I looked at the craft with almost surprised as it was made up of two wheels and a long stick, thin wires were used to hold them as well as to give them rotating movement and strips of vibrant papers were glued to make it attractive. How much was the cost of raw material? Ten rupees included not only raw material but also its cost of making, time consumed in selling and his profit. How much he would save in one pinwheel, I wondered!

I asked for one more.

To support him, I bought one whistle of Rs. 20/-, one baja (plastic whistle) of Rs. 20/- and one plastic mask somewhat resembling a cartoon character of Rs. 20/-. I asked him to show a plastic car. On inspection I found that this piece of car was an old piece, it was somewhat wear and tear, and its wheels were not functioning properly even on my butter soft hands. I returned it. On seeing a bit disappointment on his face, I asked to give me two more pinwheels although I did not need them but to support the traditional craft and to encourage him I made that small purchase.

I gave him the total purchased cost, a hundred rupees note. A faint smile appeared on his face.

I rolled up the windowpane and asked my driver to give all these toys to his children. In the moving car, I realized that oxytocin was released in my blood in large amounts, which caused the release of a chemical substance known as nitric oxide, which dilated my blood vessels, and as a result, I was feeling a boost in my mood as if someone had injected a high dose of happiness in me.

I decided that if I ever saw this vendor again, I would buy all his pinwheels and would distribute them among the children who could not afford to buy even a ten rupees toy.

Only One Meal Per Day - From an idea to habit formation

Was I suffering from CANCER?

The search showed this answer after I googled the reason for the persistent sweet taste in my mouth. It also suggested that it could be because of a certain bacterial infection, diabetes or a neurological disorder. I refined the search as sweetness in mouth after prolonged fasting. It showed that low carb diets resulted in burning of fat instead of carbohydrates, which consequently increased ketones in blood stream and caused fruity, sweet, or metallic taste in mouth. During ketosis, excess fat got burn and outcome was weight loss.

In the last week of December, 2021 I decided to do a purasacharan of a lengthy mantra, which required sitting for quite a good time. I was not sure whether I was able to do it as my knees and back ached after sitting for long. Therefore, I decided to eat phalahara, a diet without cereals and pulses also, it included fruits, vegetables and dry fruits that too only once a day. One outstanding meal was sufficient to nourish the body. Moreover, my eating capacity was too good. I was eating three meals worth in one go. ;) It only saved my time of brushing teeth after meals. ;) Nevertheless, I would revise my decision if I found it difficult to do in the last days of sadhana due to weakness or any other health issue, and then I would shift to meals twice a day. When I started, I felt pangs of hunger during the evening, my bowel movements were disturbed, I felt tired most of the time and a bitter taste persisted in my mouth all the time. I kept moving, overcoming the obstacles one by one, as I knew my body would get used to this new routine, which was very difficult to master. Gordon Parks stated, “Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit.”

In the third week of habit formation, I fell ill because of overburden of work as well as because of low energy levels. I did not stop. Will Durant in ‘The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the World's Greatest Philosophers’ said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” I kept going until I reached the mark of 42 days. As Om Swamiji said, “A new habit is formed in 42 days.” Now, I was quite sure that I could continue with meal once during the day but I was not sure whether I could go for phalahara diet for so long without adverse effect on my health. For 47 days, I ate phalahara diet and as soon as Navaratra were over, I changed my phalahara diet to vegetable khichadi with desi ghee, soup, coriander chutney, roasted papad, curd, salad, fruits and dry fruits. This was the diet given to students when I was doing Sadhana Intensive training in Sivananda Kutir in Uttarkashi. Swami Vishnu Devananda said, “What is consumed by the human body correlates directly to the efficiency with which the brain functions. The diet affects the quality of meditation. The purer the diet, the more easily the mind is controlled. Then with time and practice, success in meditation is assured.”

Slowly and gradually, my body got used to it, now I did not feel hungry all the time, my bowl movements were regular, my energy levels were good enough and a sweet taste persisted all the time in my mouth. Oh! That was not a divine taste!

One meal during the day had now become a habit and a part of my life. With this big change in my diet, I could easily sit in meditation for prolonged hours without knee or back pain. “Just do it! First you make your habits, then your habits make you!”
― Lucas Remmerswaal, The A-Z of 13 Habits: Inspired by Warren Buffett

Pic : An idea that illuminates my spiritual path!

I Can Sit for More Than 4 Hours and 36 Minutes in Meditation.

Have you ever seen a rock crying horribly?

Only humans cry! I cried uncontrollably in meditation. It was close to impossible to be still like a rock while crying. The emotions came gushing like strong tsunami waves without any control disturbing stillness and calmness within a few seconds. I cried aloud and most of the time I had to cover my face with hands. Then tears started flowing from my eyes. I had to wipe them with a hankie, which further resulted in a disturbance in my stillness. Now, I had decided that I would not wipe them and would allow them to flow naturally. Many a times, discharge from nose began to flow and it was a challenge not to wipe it and let it flow over my lips. ;)

After awakening from Kundalini, in meditation I experienced involuntary body movements including moving of hands and head. I could not be still even I wished to be. However, I felt that to rise above vibrations and sensations was more crucial to have a pinpoint focus. From past seven months as soon as I focused on any object of meditation may it be an image of deity, Guru or Mother Divine, I started crying horribly and I could not remain motionless however hard I might try. I meditate for 4 hours in morning with breaks, which includes the longest stretch of 2 hours and more. In the evening, my sitting hours are near to about 7 hours with breaks, which include reading scriptures, likhit japa (writing mantra), meditation, chanting, routine prayers and breathing exercises. Total of near about 10 hours of praying and meditation per day. I could sit in for this period with slight knee pain that disappeared as soon as I started walking. However, earlier prolonged sitting resulted in severe knee ache, which could not be healed with yoga, walking or oil massaging. My strength, stamina and discipline had made it possible to sit in asana for long periods.

1. Hydration - Frequent urination was the problem with advancing age. In general, I did not drink water long before going into deep meditation for a lengthy period. Soon after finishing it, I drank a lot of water to hydrate myself.

2. Nutrition – When I lived without food for eleven days, I could very easily sit in meditation for 4 hours and thirty-six minutes. For perfection in asana, from the past three months I was having only one meal per day, which was either phalahara or khichadi and soup. Sadhguru had taken only one meal in a day from the past 40 years. Moreover, I did not have a feast of chole bhature from past three and a half months. That is real tapas for me! ;) Ab hum khayenge piyange to enlightened hone ke baad! ;) (I would party after I would be liberated) My dietary restrictions had helped me a lot and now I could meditate very easily for stretched period without any pain in my knees or back.

3. Yoga or stretching – In winters, I walked in sunshine and in summers I did yoga additionally. My exercise routine was between 30 minutes to one hour depending upon the workload. On weekends and holidays, I exercised more than on weekdays. Asanas like headstand, shoulder stand and fish pose helped me a lot in concentrating my mind and for maintain a steady pose in meditation.

4.  Sunlight – I daily prayed to the God of Sun, “O God! Please bless os.me family with Vitamin D.” ;) I basked in sunlight for 10-15 minutes or even more as I walked in sunshine while chanting mantra or listening to audio books.

5. Breathing – I daily practiced anolum vilom (alternate nostril breathing) on Black Lotus App. In general, one session sometimes two or more if I was free. Sometimes I also did gentle and deep breathing.

After doing every purashcharan I felt that my concentration and my capacity to sit for prolonged hours had improved immensely. My spiritual experiences also indicated that I was progressing.

Swamiji had never touched me with a mudra on my Sahasrara Chakra. I had never touched His feet physically. I had wholehearted faith that with His divine touch I would become still like rock for not less than 72 hours. :)

Please pray for me that I become like a rock soon! ;)

Pic : A rock near Jatusana, Haryana

When I Walked Like a Saint...

Why was I doing intense tapas?

By the time, my wet clothes dried a bit in the bright sultry sun, I contemplated sitting on a conveniently flat rock on an oblong island in the middle of Giri River near Sri Badrika Ashram. It had been 40 hours since I had drunk anything and near about 48 hours since I had eaten anything. The day before, on MahaShivratri I had kept fast. Today, since morning I was searching for a dog but could not find it. I did not eat or drink without completing my charity work, which include feeding cow, dog and birds.

From the morning, I was looking for a dog - big or small, black or white, furry or skinny but could not find. I went downhill and far along the length of the river. On the way, I saw three mongooses, two dwarf brown cows, a male Asian paradise flycatcher, a spotted dove, an eagle, a pair of pied kingfisher, yellow-vented bulbuls, red whiskered bulbuls, many blue-fronted redstart, parakeets, uncountable rock doves, warblers in various sizes and a Mallard duck taking off from the river Giri but did not see a stray dog! I came back and searched it in ashram. Once again went downhill in a hope to find one, this time in hurry I forgot to wear my shoes instead wore flip flops. I searched it again but no success. I sat down for a while on a rock to take rest. On the other side of the river, I noticed some cows, goats and a shepherd. Assuming that there must be a dog along with them, I decided to cross the river. I took my jacket in my hand and carefully putting one baby step at a time on slippery and precipitous stones crossed a portion of river with shallow water and reached the island. On the other side, the river was quiet fast. I loved going adventure. I pulled up my lowers a bit higher and started walking in the swift flow. The stones beneath my feet were abrupt and perilous. This time I was more careful but hardly had I taken 5-6 steps that I found myself struggling to maintain my balance on algae covered rocks in the high-speed water and abruptly fell into the river. I got up and decided to come back instead of continuing my adventurous journey further.  

I sat on the same rock with my jacket spread on a nearby rock. I was feeling neither hungry nor thirsty although my throat was dry and lips were dehydrated. Tired of brooding over a thought about my intense tapas, I opted to enjoy the present moment. I shed off thoughts of unchangeable past and reflections about the unknown future. The nature was mesmerizing. The murmuring sound of ever-flowing water, warmth of radiant sun, shade of forever-moving clouds, fragrant and cool breeze, chirping of bulbuls and ballet of swallows and willows on pale blue floor. Now I was enjoying every moment of my life. All of a sudden from nowhere a patchy brown dog wailing its tail slightly jumping between the rocks came towards me. I fed biscuits to it. The time in my mobile watch showed 12:40 pm and dining hall would be closed after 20 minutes. I hurriedly picked up my jacket, bolted on the uneven rocks and put my right feet in the shallow water of river to cross it. I slipped. This time, I managed to maintain my balance and did not fall. Though, the little stopper that holds the strap of flip flop came out, one lose end of Y-shaped strap made it unfit to wear it. I tried to push it back with the help of a twig but could not. I hold my slippers in my hand and started walking on treacherous path after crossing the river. The piercing stones beneath my feet made taking even one-step further very difficult. They were penetrating in my soft skin making my walk extremely painful. I told my mind that under my feet are not piercing stones rather soft rose petals. I took the next step and I felt less pain. I told my mind to have firm belief that delicate rose petals were spread on the path. I took one more step and there was neither pricking nor piercing only softness of petals that my sole felt. With full control on my mind, I erased the difference between sharp stones and soft petals. Pain and pleasure became alike. I walked like a saint- mindfully and calmly. I enjoyed every delicate step that I took. A fountain of equanimity erupted inside me!

Pic : Pixabay

My Egoistic Head Near His Padam-Feet

“You haven’t eaten anything today! Have you kept a fast on MahaShivratri?” Ma (my mother) asked me while standing outside the main office of Sri Badrika Ashram around 3:30 p.m.

“That’s true. I haven’t eaten anything.” I replied.

“And water?”

“Till now, I haven’t. Tells see what God’s wish is!”

I woke up at 12:30 in the morning, did my prayers and meditation, drove my car for about an hour on highway, took metro from HUDA City Centre, Gurugram to New Delhi Railway Station, dragged baggage on long railway platform, traveled in train watching live telecast of Sadhana App launch, carried bags on Kalka Railway Station, took a prebooked taxi through the terrain to Sri Badrika Ashram and was now waiting for the room or the dorm bed to be allotted. I could easily stay without eating food for some days but this time I challenged myself by not drinking water while living a normal life.  

After getting fresh, I went to the discourse room to get the seat near Vidu Swamiji’s camera and recording area where I generally used to sit. However, to my surprise, camera and recording area had been shifted to the center of the room to cover the abhishekam of Lord Shri Hari. There was a line of division dividing the seating area into two. Where I generally sat, had cushions with sheets of paper shouting ‘RESERVED’. I asked a woman on other side of the line of division, “Are we not allowed to sit there?”

She said, “No. If anybody sits there, he/she will be asked to get up from there.”

I took a seat on the other side of the line quite close to that woman. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my mantra, but I could not as my mind wandered about the line of division. I had never seen this before. Moreover, why it was two feet wide?

My mind kept wandering about the length, breadth and the twists in line of division. I complained in my thoughts, “Why I am sitting too far from you? Can you do something to decrease this distance and to erase this wide line of division? I neither have eaten nor drank anything today, just to have a darshan of your smiling face.” My eyes became moist.

Just a few minutes before the entrance of Swamiji in the hall, some volunteers rolled the pastel sheets from the line of division and below them; the black velvety mat was shining bright. My Goodness! So, it was the path from which Swamiji would be going to Garbhgrah.

I was too shy to ever sit near those velvety mats on which Swamiji stride from entrance gate to Garbhgrah and back. I happily bowed Him from a distance. Moreover, today, when I was doing tapas, He would be walking on the line of division, and I was sitting just adjacent to it.

“Khudee ko ker baland itna kay har Taqdeer se pahlay”
“khuhda bandey se khud poochey bata therie reza kaya hai”
~Allama Iqbal

(Raise yourself to such great heights so before every destined act, God himself asks what it is you desire.)

It was His pure love and grace that He bestows upon me amidst His busy schedules.

After a while, my egoistic head was near His Padam-Feet only 6 inches away. It lightens my heart, fills my mind with strength, peace and purity. Next time I would do more intense tapas to decrease this distance to zero! :) As it is the greatest and rarest privilege in life to touch the Padam-Feet of Guru.

In Guru Bhakti Yoga, Swami Sivananda says, “Dedication to the Lotus-Feet of Guru must be ideal and watchword for the disciple. On auspicious days, disciple should fast and meditate on the Lotus-Feet of the Guru, to grant him real devotion to His Lotus-Feet.”

Har Har Mahadev!

Pic : Pixabay