Wittiest pic of 2011!

While surfing net I come across this pic with the caption ‘Gas Transplant’. This is the wittiest pic I have seen in 2011!

Goodbye 2011!

Courtesy (pic): thewittyshit.com

GOD?

“I don’t believe in God. I hate God.” A middle aged widow said after hearing about the untimely death of her daughter. She was a religious woman before this incidence.

Why we have faith in GOD when we are happy and loses it as soon as any sorrow comes in our lives?

On the other side of fence

I clicked a photo of them and showed them. And then they all gave this beaming pose. The group was standing on the other side of fence saying ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ to each passer-by. Most of the persons were ignoring them.

I searched my purse of some toffees and found only one.

What do you think should I give them or should drop that idea as they were four in number?

Erotic romance

Mr. ‘S’ asked me. “Do you write short stories for kids?”
“Believe me or not, I write erotic romance.” ;)

This is 400th post.:)

Dustbin?

As we were walking through a forest area, the kid in our group after eating chocolate asked me, “Should I throw this wrapper in this dustbin?” I couldn’t see any other dustbin nearby nor was sure what this construction was for. In such a situation what do you think should be mine reply?

Chuja in the bank!

“Chuja! Chuja Stop!! CHUJA STOP!!!” A young woman screamed to a tiny dog whose chain slipped from her hand in the bank. She tried to stop him while slowly running towards him.

Which was more irritating; she brought the dog in the bank or the dog name was ‘Chuja’ (chick)?

Evening walk companion!

“What are you doing?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me on phone.
“Evening walk!” I replied.
“Alone?”
Just then I saw a creature moving along the side of path with me. So I said. “No. Not alone.”
“With whom?” He was damn curious to know.

Short story competition

I am thinking of participating in a short story writing competition. I have to frame a story of more than 5000 words which is really a tough task for me.

As the genre is mythology should I write an incidence form Ramayana or Mahabharata?

Lights in meditation

“With close eyes the colors we see are more vibrant and bright as compare to what we see with our open eyes.” I told my student.
“Is it true?”
“Why don’t you experience it yourself?” I suggested.

Parking charges

“Madam, your parking charges are Rs. 10/- as you parked your car here at 2pm.” He said.
I searched my pockets, found thousand rupee notes only and hesitantly asked. “Do you have the change?”
“For hundred rupees? Yes. Yes.”
“No.”
“For five hundred? Yes. Yes.”
“No.”
“Then?”
“For thousand rupee.”
“Don’t you have the change. Madam?”
“Let me see.” I searched the car pocket in which I kept some change. At that time there were two coins of one rupee and one coin of two rupees and a total of Rs. 4/- in it. “What do you want Rs. 4/- or return the change for Rs. 990/-?”

Thanks to IndiBlogger Team!

I thank IndiBlogger Team for providing me a platform to meet other bloggers from diversified fields in New Delhi HP IndiBlogger Meet 2011. It was pleasant experience to be a part of the functions, well organised and entertaining. Games, prizes, tea with snacks and funny debate were the main attractions of it. Once again I want to thank IndiBlogger Team for organising it.

And a free T-Shirt for me!
Can’t it be organise frequently so that I can have some more free T-shirts? ;)

New Delhi HP IndiBlogger Meet 2011

These are the comments I received about my blog in New Delhi HP IndiBlogger Meet 2011.

Which one you like the most out of these?

Interesting riddle

“Can you name 5 colors starting with letter ‘B’ in one minute without taking any help from google?” Mr. ‘H’ asked.

Langur on three wheeler

Today I saw a langur sitting on the roof of a three-wheeler which was headed towards some unknown destination. It had a rope in its neck and the other end was in the owner’s hand who was sitting inside the moving vehicle. I searched my purse for mobile to click the photo. Oops! I forgot it at home.

Do you think it is a common or rare scene?

High tea

“I have an invitation of a meeting and they will be serving high tea.” I said excitedly.
“That’s great.” Mr. ‘H’ said.
“Will they be serving tea mixed alcohol in it?”
“Oh! No. No….They will be serving tea with pakodas.”
“OMG! They will blend something… I mean something wrong in pakodas.”
He winked. “Why don’t you ask this with your blogger friends?”
“Is it really a worth question asking them?”

Your best work

While reading guidelines for submission of short story to a reputed magazine I come to know that they want me to submit my one of my best work. I can’t decide which my best or worst work is, really I can’t. Even if someone ask me which is my best blog I am undecided because I can write and I find myself unable to judge my own writings.

Do you guys know which is your best work/ blog till date?

Grass not so green!

“Why did you click the photo of the grass that is not so green?” Mrs. ‘L’ asked me.
“I did not click it for the grass but….. What?” I replied while raising my eyebrows.

One more year

With the increase in the size of frowns and decrease in the size of smiles on my face I add up one more year to my life…;)

Do you think should I ask a question at the end of this post also?

Discrimination

In a bar, I saw that on a table a couple was sitting; husband was sipping beer and wife was neither drinking tea, coffee, soft drink, fruit juice or lime water rather she was slowly sipping plain water not even packed mineral water.

Do you think this is discrimination against woman or no?

New additions in my room

“Wow! Bird’s nests with little birds!!” A kid exclaimed on seeing the new additions in my room.
“I bought them from the Trade Fair, Delhi. They are made up of coconut coir.” I said.
“What are their names?”
“I am thinking of naming them but haven’t taken any final decision. You suggest some.”
“You can name them ‘Orange’ and ‘Blue’ as their colors are.”
“That’s too simple. Some thing unique, I was thinking of….like…”
Before I could say anything he uttered “‘Burger’ and ‘Pizza’! My all time favourite!!”


What do you think which one should I name ‘Burger’ and which one ‘Pizza’?” ;)

Write for …?

“First ask yourself for what you write for ‘MONEY’ or ‘SELFSATISFACTION’?” Mr. ‘J’ asked me.
“I write for comments. More comments motivate me to write more!” I replied. :)

And you write for what?

Kolaveri Di

“Kolaveri Di, a Tamil song with some English words here and there, sounding witty with catchy beats is a record breaking spree. I don’t understand Tamil still I am humming it. Can you believe it I have listened it atleast 37 times?” I excitedly said. “It seems that I am crazy about its tunes.”
“Yesterday I heard it 174 times and today my target is to break my own record.’ Mr. ‘H’ said.

How many times you have heard this song?

Lights! Lights!!

As the chief guest entered the conference hall the lights went out. There was complete darkness till the electricity came back after a few seconds.

If I was not the chief guest of that function do you think it was funny or irritating? ;)

Cow up!

“What is in this basket? Fruits?” In the lift which was moving down a guy asked me pointing towards the basket I was holding.
“No. It contains food for the cow. Daily I give food to the cow before taking my meal.” I replied.
“Cow up!” Innocently he asked.
“If cow up in my flat then I would have been carrying cow dung in the basket and not food.” I thought. “It's smell would have stunk.”

Do you think he just wished to time pass in the lift by asking this or he was really curious to know what the basket contain?

Parrot on my finger...

“Do you see my photo on facebook?” I enquired a kid.
“Which one?” He asked.
“The latest one with the parrot on my finger!”
“Oh! That one with a fake parrot, made up of clay.”
“No! NO! That was real. A real parrot on my finger!”
“You can’t fool me after all I am a grown up man.” He said confidently.

Do you think I was telling a story or speaking the truth?

Birds Charitable Hospital

I visited Birds Charitable Hospital in Sadar, Gurgaon. There are sick pigeons, parrots, bajarigars, love birds and various other birds that are fed, given proper treatment under vet guidance. On curing birds like pigeons and parrots they release them to fly. The birds like bajarigars are adopted by the interested candidates as they can’t be released if done so will be eaten by the birds of prey. There is long waiting to adopt bajarigars.
Pic : For those which can't fly or very ill, need separate unit.

Do I have my name on waiting list to adopt bajarigars?

Birds in a room!

While walking through one of the streets of Gurgaon, I looked up and saw various birds behind the metallic perforations covering windows. I curiously went inside. There I met Mr. ‘L’ who showed me the whole area. We went upstairs and I click this photo where there were a variety of birds in just one room.

Do you have any idea what it could be?

I hate my mother

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, ‘EEEE, your mom only has one eye!’I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, ‘ If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, ‘How dare you come to my house and scare my children!’ GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!’And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,’ and she disappeared out of sight.One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.‘My dearest son,I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.With all my love to you,
Your mother.’

My views on this story which I read somewhere on the net : If mother had told his child earlier, he would have taken good care of her in old age. Now he would only be guilty for his doings. In a way mother made a mistake by not telling him the truth earlier.

Do you agree or disagree with me?

I & Big B

Directory of Best Indian Blogs
My name and blog are written just below BIG B's. :D

This is 375th post! :))

A reply

This is reply to Harman's second comment on previous post.
Happy Diwali to you, dear. Hope you had a great time with your family.
I enjoyed it very much as I shifted in my new home just a couple of days before Diwali. In the photo you can view the Gurgaon City from my balcony situated on eleventh floor.

On Diwali I was not feeling well; cold, cough and fever may be because of fatigue as a result of shifting or mild viral infection or both.

Tiredness and happiness comes together. What do you think?

Addictive

“Do you have an account on facebook?” An elderly woman asked me.
“Ya.”
“It is so addictive.” She said.
“Do you blog, Chandrika?” A girl asked who was standing near us.
“Yup.”
“It is more addictive.” The young person said.

What do you think which is more addictive updating status on facebook or writing blogs on blogspot?

Dehusked coconut shell

On dehusking this coconut I found a white portion on one of its eyes like markings. I have seen this for the first time. Have you seen it before?

Best Compliment

Susan Deborah in her post ‘Tell me’questioned....
WHAT IS THE BEST COMPLIMENT THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED?
My comment was "Your laugh can make others laugh so keep laughing!" :D

Do you think this is a quality that everyone possess or a special quality gifted to me by GOD?

A short story by me

“Have you copied it from somewhere?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me after reading the rough draft of my story.
“No. I write it. It is my story.” I replied.
“You can’t write that good, dear.” He beamed.

Do you think it is praise or criticism?

Fishing

Yesterday I read …
That a man went for fishing. He lost his both arms as a fish ate them while fishing.

Do you think it is funny or piteous?

Two years old

“I want this toy.” I pointed towards this particular sewing machine, when I was two years old.
“You can buy some toy like doll which closes and opens its eyes or bird which drinks water.” My uncle suggested me.
“NO. I want this.” The working model of sewing machine attracted me more than any other costlier toy.
My childhood passion developed into the career as Lecturer in Fashion Designing. I love this toy very much that even after so many years it is still working as you can see in the video the sewing needle moves up and down with the movement of handle.

Conclusion of this story is that my blog is two years old. ;)

The worst observer, ME!

“You have observed nothing, Chandrika. You have applied for this post last year and what have you observed since then? NOTHING!!” A senior person of the company discouraged me while interviewing. The other two young persons seemed to be impressed with my work.
Ya, may be I have not observed up to his expectations. As I is a keen observer how can I miss to see that senior person opened the container of Pan Parag, put some in his mouth while speaking. “You are the worst observer I have ever seen in my life!”

Do you think one can chew tobacco in office or is it prohibited?

Calm mind

“Close your eyes and try to visualise the best scene you have ever seen in your life which calms your mind.” A saint asked the group.
I closed my eyes to concentrate.
“Open your eyes and tell me what do you see?” Two minutes later, he asked me.
“I saw a large channel which I used to cross while going to school in my childhood days. There is a huge harsingar tree (Nyctanthes arbor-tristis) on one of its side near the bridge. During blossom most of its tiny white flowers with orange-red tube fall in the channel and floats with the swift flow of water. I collected those tiny flowers which were not lucky enough to fall in soothing water and fall on hard ground".

If you close your eyes which beautiful scene you imagine that calm mind?

Seasoned writers

"Generally, seasoned writers turned their real life fiascos into fiction." Mrs. 'G' said.

So guys, what do you think my posts on this blog are my real life fiascos or fiction?

Dream Interpretation

“I saw my boyfriend dressed totally in black color. His face was powdered with black color. He was laughing uncontrollably. I told him that he looked like a ghost. I woke up sweating.” A girl of marriageable age told me.

“Strange dream!” I said.

“I can’t understand what this strange dream means?!? Interpret for me what this means as Chandrika, you have read lots of books on dream interpretation. I only know that I really love him and desperately want to marry him” She looked at me with curious eyes.

Should I tell her that this dream indicates that her marriage with him will not be possible or should I tell her that forget it as it is just a dream not reality?

Blog for WHAT?

“Hell, I can’t make money out of damn blogging.” Mr. ‘L’ uttered disappointingly.

Dear blogger friends, do you blog for yourself or for money?

TV antennae

“Why have you put the hanger in the balcony like this?” I asked a kid.
“Yesterday we bought a new TV. This is TV antennae. It catches signal and transfer them to TV.” He replied with overwhelming confidence.

Do you think this juggad works or is it to keep the child busy till dish is installed?

Khichadi - my all time favourite

“What have you cooked today?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me as aroma enters his nostril. We were sitting in the drawing room to which kitchen was adjacent to.
“Nothing special.” I replied.
“It smells tremendous good. What have you prepared in the dinner?”
“Just normal food.” I hesitated to tell.
“What na?” He insisted.
“Khichadi!.”
“WHAT?????????????”
“Ya, it is my all time favourite and is also known as hotchpotch, a mixture of boiled pulses, rice and salt.”
“Whenever I prepared it never smells so good. HOW does it smell excellent?”

Does anyone know the answer to this question?

Relaxing game!

“Enough of work! Let’s play a game.” Mr. ‘H’ suggested.
“Game?!? I have to work. Lots of work is yet to be done.” I said.
“It is game to relax mind. After playing it you will be able to work better.” He took a white paper to draw a star with ten points. He put the nine coins on each point mentioned except on No.8. “You have to remove a coin by jumping another coin over it along one of the lines. The position you jump to, beyond the coin, must be empty.”
“That’s tricky!”
“You have to remove all but one of the coins from the star.”
“Any clue how to begin?”
“Coin at position No. 5 jumps No.7 which I remove and rests at No.8. There is one more condition especially for you that you can’t take the help of your blogger friends.”

Do you think it is an easy game and I did it before publishing or it is a difficult game and I genuinely need my blogger friend’s help?

Body tremors

“Earthquake is coming! Can you feel it?” I asked Mr. ‘H’.
“If you won’t take your lunch till 6pm you will for sure feel body tremors.” He replied.
“Earthquake is still there I can feel the tremors.”
“If you keep working all the day without taking meal at proper time, you will feel earthquakes of even higher intensity then what you are felling now. Why don’t you take the meal at proper hour?”

My favourite dish

“We are organising a party. Come and join us!” Mr. ‘H’ said.
“I do not like to go to parties.” I replied.
“I will ask the chief chef to prepare your favourite dish as main dish. Now you must join us.”
“If my favourite dish is served in the party as main dish then nobody will enjoy.”

Can anyone guess which my favourite dish is that is not relished by masses?

P(R)AN Application form

“This form is to be filled with black ink and not in blue as you have done.” Going through the application form holding in his hand Mr. ‘K’ said.
“It is written no where on the form.” I said.
“PAN form is to be filled in BLACK ink only. You have to fill it again.”
“I fill a PRAN application form not PAN. I want a Permanent Retirement Account Number rather Permanent Account Number.” I said.
“Ohho! For that you can fill in it with any ink.”

Do you think he needs specks which correctly show letter ‘R’ in between ‘P’ and ‘A’ to him only? ;)

Halt in traffic jam

“A few rain showers create pools and potholes on roads. One is halted in traffic jam whichever road one takes to the destination. It is irritating as well as frustrating because one is going nothing, a total wastage of time!” I said.
“You can honk to irritate others! Why to be frustrated alone?” Mr. ‘H’ said with a little wink.

Soft!

“Papa, you should shave!” A little girl said to his father as she touched his face by mistake while swimming on Sunday evening.
“What is the use of that, my child?” He calmly asked.
“You will be soft SOFT!”

Does this story bring smile on your soft face? ;)

Thank You!

Jack left this comment on the previous post.
Finally caught up with all pending posts since 12 Aug and left comments on each. Read if you have time and patience.

My reply :
Thanks Jack for patiently reading all my posts and leaving comments on them. I always spare time to read the views, suggestions and criticisms of my readers. It is just that I am bit lazy or bit busy or both so as to I do not reply to each and every comment personally. I apologise for that.

Do the readers think that writing ‘Thank you’ to each comment makes the content on the blog boring or it must be done as a polite etiquette?

Pornography

Pornography is a complete LIE!

A gal wrote this somewhere on net.

Do you agree or disagree with her?

Wall hanging

“See, what my best friend ‘P’ has made for me!” A kid excitedly pointed towards a wall hanging.
“Has she returned from Canada?” I asked.
“No! His father visited us yesterday. She sent it with him. She prepared it herself especially for me.”

“Nice! But this is wrong side of it. You should put it like this.” I turned the wall hanging.
“This is not the right side as you can easily see joints.” He turned it again.
“It looks more beautiful and unique from the other side.”

According to you which is the right side of the wall hanging; pic1 or pic2?

Tired me!

I was trying to sleep in my room after a hectic day which includes fifteen hours of travelling by road, I felt as if my bed was vibrating. Oh God! I am soooo tired that even bed seems to be in movement as a result of prolonged shaking of body in travelling! Uneasy me turned, changed my position and tried to sleep again. No more shaking was felt and sleep embraced me.

Next morning the main news of newspaper is ‘Earthquake shook Delhi and NCR for 5-6 seconds at 11.58pm.’

Sometimes are you also so much tired that even quakes seem to be a part of your tiredness? ;)

A reserved chit-chatter

The moment that totally changed my life is

When I had break up….
Before that I was RESERVED and after that CHIT-CHATTER. ;)

This is 350th post!

Moments....

"Moments that totally changed my life are…
When I kissed my girl friend underwater….
When my father died….
When my wife dumped me after 23 years of married life….
When I remarried her step-daughter…."

An elderly man told this to another.

What are the moments that completely changed your life?

GOOD OMENS!

“See ACCIDENTS as GOOD OMENS!” I said.

Do you think this is only theoretically possible or practically also?

My life

I wrote on facebook : No Saturdays no Sundays only Workdays in my life!

Ms ‘T’ asked : Do you like it or not?

I replied : Like it?????????? I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Do you like to work on weekends or not?

Nano tale

I heard a nano tale on radio fm.

More work! More money!! More headache!!!

Do you agree or disagree with this?

Time pass in traffic jam!

Stuck in traffic jam surrounded with gigantic trucks painted with useless slogans and uninteresting paintings, bored of listening to same repeated advertisements on fm from past two hours, an attractive bus caught my attention. I took out the camera and start capturing its beauty from every possible angle while sitting in my car.(In photograph front portion of bus can be seen)

Seeing my sudden passion of photography my driver pointed out that back side of truck was decorated with a string of lemons.

So, they look more like lemons or mud balls? ;)

Exchange offer!

I received a sms.

If we both exchange 1 rupee, we both have 1 rupee, but if we exchange 1 good thought we both have 2 good thoughts.
I have exchanged mine what about you? ;)

Sibling!

“Where do you live?” A voice came from behind as I rang the bell of my house after returning from work.
I turned. I little girl was peeping from the next door. I pointed towards my house and replied “I live in this house.”
“I live in this house with my grandmother.”
“And where is your mother?”
“She went to hospital.”
“What happened to her?” I worriedly asked.
“Nothing.” She said and gestured her hand carelessly.
“Wow!” I uttered utmost cheerfully. My happiness bewildered her.

Do you think should I tell her that her mother will bring a sibling for her from hospital or should I kept quiet and let the child be surprised when her mother returned from hospital?

Predict for me!

“You predict for so many! Predict something for me!!” Mr. ‘H’ asked smilingly.
“Tell me your date of birth, place of birth and time of birth. And what do you want to know?” I replied.
“There is a beautiful person named Chandrika Shubham. Will she be spending this evening with me?” He smiled more.

Najar Battu

During my evening walk, I noticed a unique thing on a car. A najar battu on a number plate!! Earlier I have only noticed it hanging in front of a house, shop or office to ward off evil eyes.

Have you ever seen a najar battu warding off evil eyes from a car or no?

A bat in my room!

At dawn, I woke up and found a baby bat flying above me. It was hitting itself with walls, wardrobe and curtains; still balancing itself to fly in a room with a moving ceiling fan.

Now what should I do?

Necklace

“Why don’t you gift me this necklace?” I asked the kid who showed his creative work of beads.
“You do not wear such type of jewellery.” The kid made an excuse.
“What a keen observer he is!” I thought. “This is beautiful, I will wear it. Please gift me this necklace.” I said.

Do you think he will gift me this necklace or will find another excuse for saying ‘NO’?

SMS for Recharge

Today, I receive this sms

A 18yrs old girl…
A 20yrs old boy…
They were sitting on the sofa in a house. ALONE!
The girl stood up to go.
The boy caught her hand and pulled her closer. He gave her a tight hug and.…..
.
.
.
.
2 be continued..
Recharge Rs. 50 to 9********5 (mobile number) and enjoy the next episode. :)

To read the next episode without spending money, what should be the reply?

eRakhi

On the auspicious occasion of rakhi I am sending eRakhi to my favourite blog.

To which blog will you like to send eRakhi?

Creative kiss

While kissing, I love to experiment with my girlfriend. I enjoy trying different types of kisses. A surprising and creative kiss exclusively for her, any suggestions?

A guy wrote this question somewhere on net. Poor guy! Nobody reply on this post.

Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in Spider-Man when Spiderman hangs upside down and his girl friend kisses him in rain while standing on the ground is considered to be the most creative on-screen kiss. Have tried it yet? ;)
For finer details watch Spiderman kiss on YouTube. ;)

Do you think should I reply to this post with the above comment in blue color or leave the post blank?

Right time to invest!

“Are you single or double?” A manager of a reputed bank asked me.
“Single!!” I said with a little weirdness in my voice.
“Oh! That’s GREAT! This is the right time to invest with our bank scheme.”

Have you ever heard of any special scheme for SINGLES only or no?

Which category?

“Some authors write extremely boring stuff and they not only waste their time in writing but also waste others time who reads them. And some write extremely well that one can recall even after years what they have written.” I told Mr.'H'.

“In which category do u fall, dear?” He laughingly asked.

Google plus

Mr. ‘H’ said “On Google plus I am not creating too many circles such as school friends, college friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances, blogger friends, immediate relatives, extended family members and the persons whom I want to forget but can’t.”
Seeing my confused face he explained “I mean Ex (es).”
“hmm…”
“I am different person. I like to do things differently from others.”
“Really!” I said.
“Therefore I have created only two circles one is ‘GODS’ and other is ‘DEMONS’. I’m bit confused like you in which circle should I place YOU?” He asked me with a wink.

Dr. & Cr.

“Debit and credit are the simplest terms.” Mr. ‘H’ said.
“Debit and credit are the ambiguous terms.” I said.

Do you agree with Mr. ‘H’ or me?

Any guess?

I went to the nursery to buy some flowering trees. The hedge on the boundary of nursery had something interesting. So, the photo was clicked.

Any guess what is this brown oval shaped with two white balls in it in the centre of the photo (Click the photo for larger view)?

Nakedness

My finger shifted its position as I felt a strong jerk in the moving car caused by a huge pothole. I clicked a wrong link unintentionally. The site, with nude young woman in erotic pose was opened as a result. My car took a left turn and its pace slowed down again. I looked out of the window to examine what happened? A digambar sadhu, Jain monk wearing no clothes was coming with the procession. I bow my head.

Both of them were naked, one was erotic and the other was serene. Why?

My favourite joke

My all time favourite joke is as ..

"Please give me some work. I will do anything." A young guy who was a trapeze artist in a famous circus which was shut down because of lack of sufficient funds required for its running, pleaded.
"Yesterday monkey in our zoo died. You havn't much to do, just wear this monkey dress and do some good trapeze tricks whenever there are children in front of your cage." Mr.'U' employed him viewing his past work experience and handed over the dress.

The young guy was very happy with his work and he did it sincerely.

One day he was super excited and took a long jump and fell on the other side of the cage which was of a tiger. He shivered. He screamed.
"Shut up! Shut up, you fool!" The tiger roared. "You will not only lose your job but I will also lose mine because of your stupidity."

Do you think it is a joke or irony on unemployment?

Desire

Statement 1 :
Desire is the root cause of all sufferings.

Statement 2 :
Desire is the root cause of all success.

Would you like to go with statement 1 or 2?

Cheating Vs. Fun

“One who will reach and touch the other side of the pool will be considered as winner of the race.” A leader kid made the announcement. “And the race begins…one…two…and three.”
All the kids of same age group started swimming except one who jumped out of the pool, ran towards the other end, jumped in the water and touched the other end announcing “I AM THE WINNER!”

Do you think this is cheating or fun?

Marriage is like a mouse trap!

Yesterday, Mr. ‘H’ sent this sms to me.

Marriage is like a mouse trap! Those on d outside r trying 2 get in & those on the inside r trying to get out!
Sweetheart, u want 2 stay outside with ME or go inside with ME? ;)

Kattykally

Written by Vikram Seth ‘A Suitable boy’, I was reading and came across a interesting line which I shared with my friends as my facebook status.

Facebook status :
Such is life one doesn't often get the things one wants. - Vikram Seth

One of my friends commented :
Such is life one doesn't often marvel at the things one has. – Kattykally

This is 325th post with a word of thanks to Kattykally.

History is a boring subject!

“You teach History and have done lot of research in medieval History.” A kid raised his one eyebrow in surprise while talking to the Professor of History. “History is a boring subject! There are so many names and dates to remember!”
“If you read History like a story then you will enjoy it and will find it interesting.” Prof. said.
“I ask you a riddle if you answer it correctly I will accept History is an interesting subject otherwise you have to accept that History is a very boring subject.”
“Fine.” Prof. accepted the challenge.
“During the reign of Akbar once Yamuna in Agra was flooded but the most surprising fact was that Taj Mahal didn’t drown. Why?”
Prof. looked bewildered as he had never heard of flood during Akbar’s reign.

Do you know the answer?

A Thirsty Crow (modified version)

“Once upon a time there was a crow. One hot afternoon it was thirsty. It searched for water but couldn’t find. At last it saw a water pot. It looked inside it. There was very less water in it. Its beak couldn’t reach there. It got an idea.” A kid was narrating me the mugged up story.
“It flew and found a straw in a nearby dustbin. It brought that it its beak and put it in the pot. It drank water and flew away.” I said.

What do you think the child will laugh heartedly on hearing this or will say this is not correct and will tell me the rest of the story in which the crow put the pebbles in the pot to raise the water level?

Cheapest way to ENJOY!

I saw young couple in a park, surrounding a monument. The gal was sitting crossed legs whereas the guy was lying on the green grass. The gal was caressing his hair lovingly, sometimes gave his nose a gentle touch, and moved her hands on his face lightly touching his lips with her fingertips.

She shifted a little and I could notice that his right hand was beneath her shawl which was draped around her upper body. She was wearing a top with front placket opening. The left hand of guy was playing with mobile and right hand with …...

The ticket to enter the park of the monument costs only Rs.5 per person. Is it the cheapest way to ENJOY or there are other cheaper options? ;)

After effects of Delhi Belly

“How was the movie ‘Delhi Belly’?” Mr. ‘H’ asked me while returning home.
“My ears are paining as I have to close them repeatedly with my fingers.” I said with a little wink. “It seemed you enjoyed it very much. You were laughing non stop.”
“hmmm..”
“Falling of ceiling is the best scene in the movie.”
“The quilt scenes were awesome. Not to be missed.” He winked. “F***! F***!! F***!!!” He screamed on seeing cream color paint strains on his Breeze Blue car which he parked near my house as we decided to go on our feet to the theater. “Two hours only in two hours………?” He wanted to utter all those sweet words which he had heard in the movie but controlled himself. In disgust, he looked up; a painter was painting the balcony on second floor.
“Can’t you see that there is a car parked below?” Mr. ‘H’ shouted on the painter.
“I am a painter not a watchman.” The painter replied as if nothing has happened.
“You have spoiled my newly brand car. I haven’t received its registration number. It is so new that it bears the temporary number.” Mr. ‘H’ was trying to prove him that he made a big mistake. His reluctance to listen irritated Mr. ‘H’. His angry face became weirder and he said “I will complaint against you to the higher authorities.”
“Go ahead. They will charge you Rs. 5000 for not parking your car in basement parking area. This is the area where owners park his car at his own risk. And anything can happen here. ANYTHING!”
“At least you should have told me earlier I would have removed my car from there.”
“Sorry, Sirji! Nothing can be done now!” He grinned and showed his all possible tainted teeth to us.

Mr. ‘H’ will go up and give that painter a hard blow that even the dentist will not be able to replace his teeth back or Mr. ‘H’ will ask me for some kerosene oil and a cotton rug and will put his five hours of labour to clean up that mess?

Delhi Belly

“Give me two tickets for Delhi Belly centre back.” I said at the ticket window of the theatre hall situated in a shopping mall just walking distance from my house.
“Which show?” The guy asked.
“First day first show.”
“Back is full. Middle centre is available. Seventh row from the screen.” He told me looking at the computer screen.
My friend who is almost my age whispered in my ears “Any seat yaar…any seat...for this raunchy and witty movie. I can even watch this movie sitting on the stairs.”
I smiled and said aloud, “Fine. Give those tickets.”
“Actually ma’am it has many abuses and obscene scenes. It is an adult movie and not good for family viewing. Should I give you the tickets?” The guy asked.

SMS from unknown number!

I bought a new mobile SIM on Monday evening.

On Tuesday morning I received SMS from an unknown number.
The pain of mising frnds is reaisd when standing somwhere u see some other younger school frnds having fun n u say 2 urself "HUM BHI AISE HI THE" (WE ALSO WERE LIKE THEM)

On Wednesday morning I received another SMS from the same number.
LAW OF FRIENDSHIP : Never make Ur frendz feel alone while U r on Earth.Disturb dem as much as U can. Let dem feel ur presnce!
Show dem U r DAMN ALIVE...!!!:)
Good night
sweet dreams
take care

Do you think I activated some service by mistake (may be clicked some wrong keys) or these are messages sent to somebody else which are reaching me by chance?

Julie, the bitch

As I was placing the food wrapped in the newspaper on the ground, it slipped from my hands. The food fell away from the newspaper on the ground. Daily I fed Julie, the bitch with food placed on the newspaper. She took the food in its mouth, placed it on the paper and then started relishing it.

Do you think it is normal for this species or Julie is an intelligent bitch?

House Vs Cage

On seeing this the first thought that came to my mind was 'Is this a house or a cage?'

Mongoose chasing a chameleon

Crossing one of the busiest roads of the countryside, a mongoose was chasing a chameleon. The distance between them became shorter and shorter. To watch this chasing I stopped my car.

What do you think mongoose will catch its prey or chameleon will change its colour to hide itself in nearby bushes?

2 Options

An anonymous reader from Australia commented on my earlier posts whose links are given below.
Comment No.1
Comment No.2
The same anonymous person wrote a comment as A Wellwisher :)
Comment No.3

Recently anonymous commented on my previous post as
"Her blogs are so silly and down-right DUMB" the girl said.

Do you think her readers are horny because she is a female blogger or do they have pea-sized brains?

My reply :
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for being my regular reader. Out of the 2 Options suggested by you which one you chose for URSELF? ;))

Balcony on twelfth floor

On looking down from my balcony on twelfth floor of the building a kid said, “It seems to me that I will fall down.”

Do you live above or below twelfth floor?

How do I see my self after 3 years?

“How do you see yourself after 3 years?” A person who was studying management asked me.
Although my heart wants to get married and have a baby, my brain wants to have more than thousand blog buddies and publication of my novel yet my mouth only utters that I want to know the real name of Mago. I am damn curious to know what Ma and Go stand for.

Do you think I am reserved person who doesn’t tell secrets or I am chit-chatter who talks non-stop?

Thankless job!

“I have put on weight. I do regular exercise even then it is not reducing.” An elderly lady complained.
“What exercise you do?” The doctor asked.
“I do all the kitchen work own my own.”
“It is not considered as an exercise. Regular morning/ evening walk are considered as regular exercise.”
“What is the use of doing kitchen work all the time as it is a thankless job?” She vent out her frustrations.

Give me ONLY one tava!

“You have three tava (a large convex disc shaped griddle made up of iron used for making chapattis)!!!” A four year kid exclaimed. He was curiously opening the cupboards of my kitchen while I was preparing tea for her mother who was comforting herself in air conditioned drawing room. On seeing three tava lying side by side in shelve out of which one was used for cooking chapattis, one for roasting sweet potatoes and the other one with a flat bottom used for cooking dosa. “We have only one! Give me ONLY one tava just ONLY one. I will take it to my home then we will have two tava and you will also have two tava.” He requested cutely.

What do you suggest should I give him one tava or should make a sweet excuse to refuse?

Good movies

There are so many DVDs of good movies in this shop.

Which one should I buy?

Speaking to a cloud

While walking on the roof of my house, I had a strange feeling when I looked at the sky full of clouds. The sky had numerous of them; of all shapes, sizes and colours varying shades of grey, white, cream and orange. A tiny cloud in ochre robe considerably above the horizon appeals to me. I spoke ‘Hi Tiny’. My voice distracted it. It looked up from the laptop on which it was working. It smiled innocently.

“Do you know when my grandpa was young he wrote a poem in Urdu on talking to clouds?” I started the conversation.
“How could I? It’s a family trend.” It winked and then smiled a little more.
“He didn’t publish his work as he later on came to know that Kalidas had written ‘Meghdoot’ about talking to clouds. Although his work was different but he felt that it would give an impression of copying. So, his work remained unpublished.”
“He could have written blogs as I do.” It grinned. “You could read my musings at www.blogofasmilingcloud.com” It winked twice.

Have you ever felt that you are speaking to a cloud?

Dilemma of my life

I am standing in quite a long queue; in front of me is a sannyasin who is wearing white colored saree along with white colored shoes and purse. She is dipped in white from top to bottom except her hair which is black. On my back is standing a newly wed woman who is wearing vibrant clothes with artificial jewellery, lose hair and pencil heels. She is dipped in glitters from top to bottom except her face make up which is wiped off by the drops of perspiration.

I am in the dilemma whether I should take sannyas or tie the nuptial knot?

Too hot, too cold!

“In a restaurant whenever I eat food, the first morsel of food is too hot that it burns sensitive skin of my mouth whereas the last morsel of food is too cold that it becomes difficult for me to chew it properly.” Mrs. ‘L’ said.

Do you also feel the same?

Rich beggar

Today, I read in the newspaper that a beggar died with Rs. 1.98 lakhs in his pocket.

These days, are the beggars really poor!?

A mail

I received this mail.

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following group
of people are shipwrecked :-

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman.
2 French men and 1 French woman.
2 German men and 1 German woman.
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman.
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman.
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman.
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman.
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman.
2 English men and 1 English woman.
2 Swiss men and 1 Swiss woman.

One month later on the same island in the middle of nowhere, the following
things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a
ménage-à-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with
the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long
look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instruction>

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and
a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for
their stores.

The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian
woman keeps complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she
can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal
division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how
her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do;
how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the
taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set
up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it
gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're
satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English
woman.

The two Swiss man opened a bank and married the Bulgarian and the Japanese
women. The Swiss women founded a feminist Group and supported all the women on the island.

Do you think racial humor is funny or offensive?

Bidi time!

An elderly man who was sitting on a mudah made puff and handover the bidi to the elderly woman. She was sitting beside him on a peedah. She took it in her wrinkled hand, inhaled and filled her mouth and lungs with smoke. She passed that same bidi to the man while puffing.

Do you think they were saving a bidi or they were enjoying bidi smoking in each other’s company?

Story of a confident guy

Part 1
“There is a huge beehive on the neem tree. I am an expert in collecting honey from beehives. If you permit me I can collect.”
“You can come in the evening to do that.” I replied.
“I am skilled to do that even at noon hours. Actually ma’am I know a mantra which I chant and after that all the bees will leave this place and will go to some other place. I will collect the honey from the vacant beehive.”
“It is dangerous to do it at daytime. Better come at the dusk.”
“I am prepared with my long stick, on which kerosene dipped rugs have been tied. I will set fire to scare the worker bees to grasp the queen bee. I am ready with my bucket to collect honey.” He showed his blue colored bucket to me.
“I have to go to attend a meeting at some other site.”
“When you will return then you can see my expertise skills, ma’am.”

Part 2
Three hours later when I returned, I found the stick with burnt rugs on one edge lying on the ground. I looked up and beehive was still there and the same blue colored bucket which was in the hands of confident guy was now on the top branch of neem tree.

Do you think he forgot the mantra or lost his confidence in front of thousands of stings?

Lost my book

“Return my favourite book if you have read it.” I said to my friend.
“A day before yesterday, I took it with me on my Mumbai trip so that in the journey I could read it. On my returning flight after complete reading, I placed it in the pocket of the front seat. I forgot to take it out. Sorry yaar.”

Should I scold him for misplacing my favourite book or should I be happy as someone else will be reading that book?

A man covering his face

In a marriage party, dance floor was full with the young persons doing sexy moves. The gathering was enjoying the high pitch music with fast dance movements. I saw near about eighty year old man sitting in the front row covering his face with his left hand. To my utmost surprise his eyes were peeping to observe those dance steps by young female members of his family.

Was he feeling ashamed or elated to observe such dance moves?

Kartiki missing!

When Kartiki was twenty eight days old, she entered my room while I was busy in completing my project report.

Near about half an hour passed and I couldn’t see or hear anything from her side which worried me. I searched her under my bed, behind the furniture and below the settees. I couldn’t find her.

By chance she went out of my room while I was absorbed in my work therefore I searched her in each and every corner of the house. And I couldn’t find her. I decided to do my remaining home work. My school bag was horizontally placed along the wall. I opened its flap and found her sleeping over my books.

She is no more. This is 300th post dedicated to her.

Dangerous woman!

“On Sunday night, we had a drinking competition.” Miss ‘G’ told me. “For a foreign delegate Mr. ‘P’ a party was organised, all senior personnel were present even Managing Director of our company. Mr. ‘P’ holds some excellent offers of sale for our company hence an important person who was to be served well. Mr. ‘P’ boasted in the party that he could drink much. Nobody could beat him as his drinking capacity was of very superior class. My boss looked at me and said, “Take good care of him. Will you?” I nodded.”

“The party began with five shots, followed by three bottom ups. After that we all had to drink a glass full of wine. You know Chandrika, when vodka is mixed with wine in stomach then results can be …… So I didn’t take it rather plainly lied that that this glass of wine was not mine rather someone else. I had already finished mine. Uncountable bottles of beer were consumed by me and Mr. ‘P’ as we were the last two contestants.”

“Next morning, I reached my office on time and Mr. ‘P’ was still having hang over and couldn’t wake up till afternoon. When he returned back in this world, his first response was to know about me. It was revealed to him that I was in my office, working. He could only utter, “Dangerous Woman, she is!!!” ”

Do you think she is a dangerous woman or smart woman?

Sheila ki jawani

“What is your name?” I asked a preschooler boy.
“My name is Sheila.” He replied confidently

Should the songs like Sheila ki jawani be banned for children or should be taught like nursery rhymes as they are easy to remember than one’s own name? ;)

Ambulance on wrong side!

I had to put the harsh brakes as all of a sudden an ambulance ringing siren came in front of my car from the wrong side. Instead of going on left road of the highway it ran on the right side to avoid traffic jam on that side. I gave way to the ambulance so that someone's life could be saved. The fast speed of ambulance on the wrong side was totally unpredictable for the motorcycle on the same side of the road. They collided.

To save one’s life, one can break rules or one can not put life of other’s at risk?

Blogger Vs. begger

On my blog, I am merely 2 hits away from 1000 hits which means 2 cents away from making one dollar from my writings. Folks, click the button to increase the money. :) A blogger wrote.

Is there any difference between blogger and begger?

Mr. Vs. Ms.

Mr. : Let's go back to Stone Age. Life, free of tensions and full of enjoyment. A carefree life!
Ms. : Unsuccessful persons think about going back to Stone Age, successful persons think about twenty-secondth century or beyond.

Do you agree with Mr. or Ms.?

You are our celebrity!

“The advertisement of the product should have a celebrity so that it can gain more attention from common persons. The present advertisement of the product only have simple girl in blue dress.” A dealer complained to the general manager of the company.
“If you remember the advertisement then the purpose is solved.” The general manager replied.
“I have to sell the product so I remember it day and night, not forgetting it for a second. The need of celebrity was for common persons who are our buyers.”
“Our company do not believe in the concept of celebrities. Moreover our company firmly believe that you are our celebrity as you give business to our company by selling the product.”

Do you think general manager is too polite to consider a dealer as a celebrity or too smart to divert the flow of thoughts?

Dog in the lift

I saw that lift was coming down from the fifteenth floor. I waited for it as I was standing on the ground floor. The door opened and a street dog ran out of it.

Do you think it is a smart dog that can operate lift buttons or somebody presses the buttons for the poor creature so that it can land safely on ground?

Bunch of keys

“Oh Sh*t! SH*T!!” Mr. ‘H’ uttered on seeing his breeze blue car keys falling in the space between the lift and the floor. He lost his grip on the keys. He made an effort to grab them again but failed.
“Don’t worry you must be having a duplicate key.” I soothed him.
“Chandrika, The key ring not only have my car keys but also my office main door key, cupboard keys, safe key and my bank locker key.” He whispered in my ears.
“Oho!”
“And on the key ring it is written ‘I have never lost my keys.’” He said this in his normal pitch.

Does Mr. ‘H’ lose his key ring ‘I have never lost my keys’ forever or no?

Breeze blue

“My dad gifts me a brand new car. Its color is breeze blue neither too dark nor too light rather pleasing blue. It is the most soothing blue I have ever seen in my life.” Mr. ‘H’ described while we were going towards the parking area. “My car is just behind this big black vehicle.”

Before I could have a glimpse of that sexy breeze blue, the lights went out. In the complete darkness my loud laugh could be heard.

Mr. ‘H’ took a few steps towards car while pressing the buttons of his mobile. He bought it near the car door and asked “How is the color?”

What should I say that in dim light I can’t see the color or in dim light breeze blue is hell lovable?

A midnight call

I woke up from sleep to attend the call on my mobile from Mr. ‘H’. “What happened? Why do you call me at this hour?” I said irritatedly. The disturbed sleep gave me a slight headache.
“I want you to be the first person to wish me as I was born on this day some years back.” He said excitedly as well as lovingly.
I looked at the watch in mobile which was showing 12:01 am.

Do you think should I scold him for calling at this hour and disturbing my sleep or should I sweetly wish him ‘Happy B’day’?

My body age

“Your body age is thirty six years.” A doctor told me.
“OMG! It is more than my chronological age! I do regular exercise, avoid fried foods and eat lots of fruits. Even then!” I said.

What should I do to minimise my body age? Any suggestions.

My style of writing

“Do you think I should write like Chetan Bhagat to become popular?” I asked one of my good friends.
“Do not copy anybody’s style of writing rather create your own style of writing.” He suggested me.

So I tried to create my style of writing; short, crisp with a mark of interrogation at the end. I will like to thank Tomz who referred to my style of writing in his recent post.

Do you think it is distinct style or should I improve it to a more unique one?

Trash on the road

A shopkeeper threw the empty cardboard container on the road. Before I could utter something he took the last sip of tea from the kulahad, a disposable mud cup without handle and also threw it on the road.

Should I pick up the empty container and kulahad from the road and threw them back in his shop or should I ask him politely not to throw trash on the road?

All possible combinations

Mago is my pen name, very simple and close to my real name, Ma...... Go....... . No sophisticated alias for me.
A blogger from Germany told me when I asked about whether he wrote with his pen name or real name.

I tried all the possible combinations with German masculine names beginning with ‘Ma’ and surname beginning with ‘Go’. Do you think I will hit the correct name that suits his profession and personality or I am wasting my time?

Expression of anger

“Are you angry with me?” Somebody asked me.

Should I say “Yes, I am angry with you” or should I remain silent and express my anger silently?

Isn’t it pretty?

“First come with me.” The kid said to me as I entered their house.
“Hello, dear.”
“Hello. There is something new. I want to show you. It is in the kitchen.” He was too excited.
I followed him towards the kitchen.
“See, as I open the cupboard, new dustbin of white in color of penguin shape comes out. The black lid on its mouth opens automatically and as I close the cupboard the lid gets closed to avoid any fowl smell coming out and doesn’t allow the breeding of small insects. When it is filled it can be taken out to empty it in the big dustbin of the society.” He demonstrated the functioning of the new dustbin. With little twinkling eyes he asked me. “Isn’t it pretty?”

Whose mistake?

“Open the door! Open it! OPEN!!” A young newly wed woman was screaming and thudding the wooden door. Neighbours and passer bys gathered to make out what the matter was.

With tears in her eyes, she told “My husband threw me outside the house and locked the door. On my repeated requests and demands he is not opening the door.”

Do you think whose mistake is this; husband’s who locked the door or wife’s who created a scene?

Moving horns of a herbivorous

“In my village, I have a cow brown in color. It gives 5-7 liters of milk per day and have moving horns.” An elderly woman told me.

Have you ever seen any herbivorous with moving horns or no?

Page No. 52

It's probably past the national book week now but I always love playing this game on facebook. The rules are, grab the closest book to you, turn to page 52, post the 5th sentence as your status. Don't mention the title. Copy the rules as part of your status.

To play this game, I picked up a library book and turned pages. The page no. 51-52 were missing and 53-54 were twice.

Now what should I do?

Little cat

“Meow! Meow!!” The kid tried to chat with the little cat. It got up, jumped on the ground and came near him, rubbing her body against his legs.
“It is showing affection to me.” The kid happily told me. He became busy with it.
I buried myself into the book which I was reading.

A few minutes later, the kid came running from a passage where he went while playing. “It raised its tail showing her anger as I went near her three kittens that lived in the box behind the stairs in the passage. Thats why I ran away from there. Two kittens are exactly like her and the other one is pure black like their papa.”

“Do you meet their papa also?” I stopped reading and asked.

“No.” He looked at his new digital wrist watch and said “It is 10.48am. Papa must have gone to work and will return in the evening. Moreover, if the color of kitten does not match with mother then it must be of father’s.”

“It can possibly be their grandparent’s color.”

Do you think it is the right time to teach him Mendel’s Law or should wait for some more years?

Mantra of happy living

“Do not think too much. Avoid brooding. Let the things happen as they are happening. This is the simplest mantra of happy living.” A saint said.

Do you agree or disagree?

A strange dream

A strange dream is haunting me from the past few days. In the dream I saw myself going in a lift, its door opened at tenth floor and to my surprise my ex boyfriend entered the lift. Doors closed and lift moved down. Tremors were felt. Lights went out. Lift fell down in uncontrollable speed. Violent and unpleasant noises of free falling of heavy objects could be heard. With a force lift hit something hard below. The dust, pieces of bricks and cement fell in one corner of the lift. It was good as I could see a hole above created by a pillar. He was pressing all the possible options of his mobile while I was throwing my dupatta from the crack above so that it might get entangled somewhere. Repeated efforts of mine bring the desired results and I climbed out of that lift holding that dupatta. Meanwhile I could hear the signals of low battery again and again from his mobile till it created a dark void.

He stepped forward to hold the dupatta, I freed it to fall it on the ground of lift. I brought the stones to cover the hole. “Same you will feel now as I have felt when you stopped talking to me, stopped all modes of communications; an engulfing silence and even more engulfing darkness!” I forgot the pain of scratches of all sizes on my body made by the sharp ridges of hole as my heart was filled with immense pleasure of making him suffer.

When I am kind hearted person how even in my dream can I be so cruel?

Writing a post

When I feel low I write a post on my blog which makes me emotionally strong.

Do you feel the same or differ?

It is an art!

“I dry the clothes on strings in a particular manner. All the towels in one line, all the suits in one line, all the socks in one line! There is always a symmetry and rhythm in which I dry clothes. You know, Chandrika it is an art!” Mrs.‘I’ told me.

Do you agree or disagree with her that drying clothes on strings is an art?

End of the movie!

“End of the movie!” A little kid spoke so loud in the theatre hall that it was audible to me with four rows of seats in between. He uttered these words as the screen became black for a few seconds between the advertisements during the interval.

End of the blog. ;) Popcorns and coke time! :) This is 275th post. :)

Wrong side, RIGHT!

On critical examination of my suit, I realised that I must discard it from my wardrobe as the chikankari embroidery had frayed as well as the orange color print had faded. I was sitting in waiting lounge hence a little bit free to think about such things.

My dupatta flipped from the gust of air from the ceiling fan as someone who just entered the lounge switch it on. I noticed that I have draped it from wrong side, uneven threads were clearly visible. I rectified my mistake. To my surprise, the suit was stitched with wrong side of embroidery on right side of the suit as poorly and roughly finished ends of threads have lose ends on the right side.

I did my Masters in Clothing and Textiles and my thesis work was on creating innovative designs of embroidery on woman’s garments like saree, suit, gown, lengha etc.

Do you think it’s my life’s biggest mistake or there are still more chances that I can make sillier mistakes?

Photo (Top) : Wrong side of embroidery
Photo (Below) : Right side of embroidery

Starring without blinking!

Filling the form, I looked up and noticed that instead of looking at his computer; Mr. ‘H’ was starring me. I forwarded the paper towards him but he was continuously staring me without blinking. His gaze was absolutely fixed on me.

Should I ask him to blink otherwise he will spoil his eyes or should I allow him to stare me forever and ever without blinking?

Potato chips

He opened the sachet of potato chips. He nibbled; she cried more.

Is it veg or non veg?

My novel

Guys, I am working on a novel. It is mere a collection of my weird thoughts. I am hell confused what should be the end of my novel.

Should it be normal happy ending or some unique ending but not a happy one?

Stomach ache

“Hello doc, I am having severe stomach ache. What should I eat?” Mr. ‘K’ said.

Suppose if you are doctor what will you advise Mr. ‘K’?

Bicycle ride

One of my friends who was presently residing in Europe wrote on a social networking site as :
Going on bicycle ride in 'NEW' forest.

I commented :
Hope you meet ‘TIGER’ there. ;)

In your opinion Tiger here refers to ‘man’ or ‘animal’?

Butt

I saw jhankis (a procession in which group of persons played roles mostly depicting stories from epics) of Lord Ram, Lord Shiva, Lord Krishna and Hanuman. In one jhanki, I noticed that an elderly man portrait a saint. He was wearing white robe and had a long white beard. His legs were gently soothed with light pressure by two youngsters. To my surprise he was smoking a butt.

At this time he should smoke or should control his temptation?

Curtain painted by me

“You made curtain out of the bed cover you were painting yester week.” Seeing the curtain in my drawing room Mrs. ‘T’ commented.
“Ya, I changed my mind to utilise this piece of cloth as curtain, to give a different look.” I replied.
“Two bunches of flowers on left and right, one in centre top and bottom is blank. You must paint the replica of flowers at the bottom middle also. It will give curtain a better look.”

Should I repeat the design one more time at bottom as there is too much space or should I not repeat the motif as it will look ‘Over’?

A saying

Yesterday, I read a saying ‘What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger’.

Do you agree or disagree with this saying?

Mango shake

“I have prepared mango shake for you, Chandrika.” Mrs. ‘J’ handed over the glass filled with mango shake to me.
“Any mango product is a slow poison for you.” Some days back my doctor had advised.

Should I drink it as she has prepared with love and care or should I not as doctor has advised me not to take any mango product?

A rat in the trap

“Take this trap away and allow this rat to move out of the trap wherever there is open space.” I asked a nine year old kid.
“Should I leave it inside or outside the housing society complex?” He asked innocently blinking his eyes.

Mongoose crossing a busy road

After hesitating a bit a mongoose began to cross one of the busiest roads of Gurgaon. A car and a truck were coming on the same road with full speed. Mongoose ran to cross. The car stopped harshly to save it whereas the truck came closer.

Will it be able to cross the road or not? Fingers crossed.

Shaving

I saw a young guy shaving beard of another man sitting in a Maruti 800 car, parked in front of a multi-storey building in Gurgaon. The two of them were sitting at the back seat and third person was watching them in rear mirror sitting on the front seat.

Was it a mobile barber shop or something else?

Assji

Mr. ‘L’ : I am ass. I am the biggest ass in this world.
Mr. ‘B’ : Nice to meet u, ASSji. ;) I am first time meeting an ass virtually. :)

Assji is abuse or honor?

Romance on the road

I saw a couple in shabby cloths, caressing and kissing each other in the middle of the road which resulted in bumper to bumper traffic jam.

Such scenes on roads are irritating or romantic?

Precious water

“I installed a waterfall and rain shower in my bathroom.” A rich middle aged man proudly told.
“You will be wasting so much water.” A college going guy commented.
“It is soothing and enjoying.” Rich man tried to justify.

Is it enjoying or wastage of precious water?

A street dog

I gave some bits of chapatti to a street dog that lived outside a posh colony of Gurgaon. He sniffed them and looked towards me as if asking “What is this?”
“Poch poch. Eat it. Eat it.” I said.
“Tuli doesn’t eat chapatti. He only eats spicy, fried and baked food.” A person observing this told me.

Tomorrow what should I give him; Domino’s pizza or McDonald’s burger? ;-)

Die soon

“Till I am on this seat drink daily and enjoy life. If you need money for drinking you can take it from me.” A boss encouraged the peon who was drunk during the office hours.
As he went away the boss said “It is good if he drinks daily, he will die soon. Roog katega.” Saying this, boss lit the cigarette.

What does boss think that drinking daily will decrease ones life span and smoking will not or if peon is enjoying in office hours why not he?

Love Vs. Sacrifice

"I want my ex girl friend to be happy wherever she is!" A guy wrote this somewhere.

Do you think this is love or sacrifice?

A goat in shopping mall!

A white coloured goat with black patches entered the shopping mall while security guard was dozing off. It took a few hesitant steps in the corridor. Seeing nobody to object it walked confidently towards a particular rack in the closest shop.

Any guesses what it wished to buy? ;-)

Oil painting by me

“You should varnish and cover it with cellophane sheet. It will protect it from dust and dirt.” Mrs. ‘L’ suggested me on seeing this oil painting by me.

What do you think should I accept her suggestions or keep it in its natural form?

First comment!

“First comment!” Some bloggers wrote this on recent post.

What is important, writing 'First comment!' or views expressed about that post?

A Kiss on cheek!

“You wear specks, Chandrika.” Mr. ‘H’ commented while watching a dark romantic movie in a theatre. At that time, the first husband of heroine cheated in the game and hit the servant’s eye with a chabuk (horse whip) which bled profusely. I did not like to be disturbed while watching movie and that too a thrilling scene. I maintained the silence to enjoy the movie. He leaned a little towards me, excitedly or fearful placed his hands on mine and whisper, “I am seeing you wearing spectacles for the first time.”
“From the last two years I wear them to correct my eyesight.”

Do you think he was disturbed by watching a brutal scene, to divert his mind and to soothe himself he hold my hand or instead of watching such a thrilling and interesting movie he was admiring me in dim lights of hall?

If former is correct reason then kiss on right cheek and if later then kiss on left cheek. ;-)

Internet : Boon or bane

“She thoroughly searched internet which drug in how much amount would be fatal for her.” Mr. ‘L’ told about her niece who committed suicide because of frustrations in career.

What do you think internet is boon or bane?

Watching porn animation

"Reading your post, 'Watching porn movies' inspired me so much that I stopped watching porn movies." The college girl proudly told me.
“Hmmm….”
“These days I watch porn animation. I see no harm in it as they are fictional images only. Cartoons are so cuchi puchi and it is fun to watch them. And I love hentai.”

What I can say now, this is 250th post.

Tomz request

On Tomz request I am writing one more post on Pentagon.

Pentagon had a younger sister and a brother. When his brother was in seventh standard, he bunked classes with friends to swim in the nearby canal. The flow of stream was so fast that his brother’s dead body could not be found. This shock decreased the screaming frequency of his mother but her habit to clean things increased; instead of washing currency notes once with detergent, she started washing them seven times.

His younger sister was a slow leaner, not beautiful and has disproportionate figure. She was doing B.Sc. (Home Science). It was her good luck that the seats in the college increased in that particular year of her admission.

Pentagon is presently doing a decent job in a foreign country.

What question should I ask in the end of this post, Tomz will suggest? ;)

Pentagon story continues…

“What was the Question No.1?” During examination days Pentagon mother asked from indoors.
“Whose glasses were missing?” Pentagon replied while standing in the corridor.
“What did you write?”
“Kutchu’s.”
“Did you write only ‘Kutchu’s’? What is the need to write whole sentence?” She uttered something in her mother tongue which only Pentagon understood.
“Kutchu’s glasses were missing.”
“What was the Question No. 2?”

This question and answer session continued till he replied to all the questions from the question paper. If he answered them correctly then only his mother allowed him to come in the house and if he answered a single question incorrectly his mother punished him by standing in the corridor for long hours.

Did the passer bys from that corridor help him by giving food and water or were they mere silent watchers?

Pentagon

When I was six years old, in my neighbourhood live a boy of almost same age whose real name nobody knew but known as ‘Pentagon’. He was a fair colored, slim and intelligent boy even then I always pitied him.

Whenever he returned home from school or playground, he neither rang the bell nor knocked the door rather asked her mother to open the door. He waited till she came and opened the door forcefully by pushing it outwards. The door springs pushed it back with the same force. He had to rush in that house in that limited time. If by mistake he touched the wall or door or handle of door she uncountable times slapped him.

Do you think his mother was psycho or no?

Hakira

“It is cute. What its name?” I asked an elderly man who was walking along with his pet dog.

“Hakira suntaa nee. (Hakira doesn’t listen)”. He paused and looked if I understood. On seeing my blank face he said, “Its name was Hakira. My granddaughter called it by its name and he didn’t listen to her so she started calling Hakira suntaa nee. That’s how it got its present name. Now everybody in the family called it Hakira suntaa nee.”

Have you ever heard the funnier pet name than this one; yes or no?

Lemon rinds

In a temple, I saw the squeezed lemon rinds used as a base for lighting of batti.

Do you think the person is doing this because of superstition or saving diya by utilising the waste material?

Frowns!!

“There is so much dust here.” A middle aged woman pointed towards the table in a restaurant. She shouted again to waiter, “Do it quickly, lazy fellow!”

I noticed she had vertical frowns on her forehead and her husband had horizontal frowns between his nose and chin. He was standing beside her and thoroughly enjoying this whole scolding episode.

So do you think it is true or false that unlike poles attract each other?

Unique shopping mall

Yesterday, we went to watch a movie in a mall. Only five minutes were left to start that movie so we hurriedly parked the car in basement parking and took a lift to third floor where theatres were located. We quickly took tickets and reached there on time.

On reaching home, the kid with us narrated this incidence to his grandfather as, “Today we went to a unique mall whose entrance was not from ground floor rather from third floor.”

Do you think should I tell the kid that it was an ordinary mall or should I let him to be happy with the wrong concept of visiting a UNIQUE mall?

It’s GOOD!

A guy kneeling outside the swimming pool clicked the photos of his girl friend’s face that was standing in the pool. He was taking the photos from every angle. One of their friends meekly came, grabbed the girl friend from behind and pulled her out of the pool for a better view of her cleavage. Boy friend captured the beauty, took a sip of choco shake and said, “It’s GOOD!” ;-)

In public places, it’s good or bad?

A click!

“What did you click in this pic?????.......twigs without any leaves.” Mr. ‘T’ laughed a little while commenting.
“Flock of birds.” I replied.

Can you see the birds clearly in this photograph or no?

Beehives

“Even at this hour, there is nobody in the park.” A woman pointed out this.
“What happened?” I asked curiously.
“Half an hour later, all the beehives in the building will be destroyed by spraying insecticides.”
“Why?”
“Yesterday, the honey bees attacked the members of a house who were performing a hawan. They stung four people. One woman was rushed to the hospital.”

Next day when I opened the front door of my house, I found thousands of killed bees scattered in the corridor.

For stinging four people should the lives of thousands of bees be taken or not?

Shut down

As soon as I click on the shut down button of my laptop, my mind is flooded with all kinds of humorous experiences, interesting stories and crispy spicy conversations.

Does this happen with me only or with every blogger?

Business in white

“Chandrika, you have to sell the item at maximum rate and raise the bill in minimum amount. This business is in white money only.” A businessman told me.

Do you think this business is in white or black?

Dance classes

With the morning newspaper a pink colour pamphlet was distributed. On reading it, I come to know that the advertisement was printed on it about dance classes which are going to start shortly in our locality. They offered Salsa or Hip-Hop courses.

I want to learn dance but confused what to join; Salsa or Hip-Hop?

Open air loo

“Is there any loo in this area?” A person asked the shopkeeper.
“Go behind that wall and pissed. There is open air loo.” The shopkeeper replied.

Even if we want to make our area clean can we do or that is not possible?

Small pieces of candles

“It seems that some fault has occurred in the electric wire supplying electricity to our house.” The kid said as he saw other houses in the locality were well lit with the back up power supply.
“Oh! The battery of mobile is discharged. The emergency light will not work as I forget to charge it. There are no candles as need never arise because of power back up system in this society.” The mother said in disappointment.
“Next day of Diwali I collected unburned pieces of candles from our balcony and stored them in my box. I have two small candles. We can use them.” The kid went to fetch them.

I was their guest who was observing this.

Should one store such small things in house as they can be needed any time or they just occupy the good space and are useless most of the time?